Sam's Return: Stay With Me
by roque872002
Summary: Sequel to Sam's Return: Don't Let Go. Set 3 months after SR:DLG. Sam is letting Jack into her and Jake's lives, but is she coping? Chap 13 now up. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Sam's Return: Stay With Me

Author: roque872002

Rating: T

Category: Family/ Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: I own Jake and the idea of this story. Nothing else. And I'm sure as hell not getting paid for this.

Summary: Sequel to Sam's Return: Don't Let Go. Set 3 months after DLG.

Authors notes: So 4 years after I last updated DLG, I finally have something to post… I'm not expecting any reviews or anybody to read this… but we'll give it a go! Just a short one to start with. (ps. I have no beta so all mistakes are mine!)

Stay With Me.

3 months after Don't Let Go.

"Daddy!" Jake yelled from the top of the stairs.

Jack closed the front door and turned around, glancing at a sniggering Sam as he did, and walked the short distance to the foot of the stairs.

"I thought I just put you to bed," Jack mock scolded as he put his hands on his hips.

"You didn't read me a story daddy," came Jake's innocent sounding reply, his brown eyes pleading.

"Yes I did," Jack told him patiently.

Jake smiled wickedly. "It was the wrong one daddy."

"Jake. Get back to bed," Sam sighed.

Jake knew he was defeated when his mother got involved. He pouted and folded his arms over his Thomas pyjama clad chest. He fully intended to push his luck.

"Now," Sam said sternly as she pointed in the direction of his room. She continued to stare at her son until he finally huffed and sulked his way back to bed, grumbling as he went.

"Evil," Jack muttered quietly.

"You can't spoil him all the time Jack," she stated as she folded her own arms over her chest.

"I know," he sighed as he turned around and opened the door once more. "Thanks for dinner."

"Any time," Sam smiled as he walked out of the house and towards his truck. "See you tomorrow?"

"Of course!" he called back as he climbed in and started the ignition.

Sam waved goodbye before closing the door and walked back into the living room. She sank down on to the couch and picked up her dog-eared romance novel that her sister-in-law had sent her. Apparently her sister-in-law loved that book judging by the condition it was in due to be being read as much as it had.

As Sam opened the book where she had left off she had to scramble to catch some of the pages that fell out. She laughed to herself and put them back.

After reading the first sentence five times Sam knew she wasn't going to get any reading done. There was just too much on her mind.

It had been three months since she had spoken to Jack after being let out of the infirmary. She honestly didn't know where the time had gone.

She smiled, knowing things were going well between them. For the past two months, the three of them had been eating at least one meal per day together - usually dinner, sometimes lunch - depending on Jack's working schedule.

Sam herself rarely went off world. She only went when she was required, and only if SG-1 was on Earth. As much as she trusted Diane, she didn't want to intrude on the woman, she was getting older and had her own things to do.

She knew she would need to get some of Jake's things ready tomorrow. It would be Friday. And every Friday that Jack was on Earth, Jake would stay with him. And she knew that Jack loved it.

While Sam appreciated that Jack loved having his son stay with him, and she loved the fact that she was ok with it - and was actually the one to suggest it - she hated it.

She wasn't used to being on her own. She was used to having her son somewhere in the house. She loved to stand in his doorway at night and watch him sleep soundly cuddled up with his Mickey Mouse teddy that Grandpa had bought him.

She loved the fact that she had been able to let Jack in. Albeit slowly at first. But she was getting there. He never pushed her, instead he stood back and let her do things at her pace. And when she gave him an inch, he took it with both hands and cherished it.

In the past three months he had never suggested anything to her. He waited patiently. When she suggested that they have a meal a day together (work permitting) he accepted, and thanked her.

When she suggested that Jake stay with him one night a week (work permitting) he couldn't hide how happy he was. All he wanted to do was hug her, but he didn't, instead smiling brightly at her. She was trusting him, and he loved every minute.

And when she suggested they do things as a family, like going for walks or going to the park, he couldn't control himself. He pulled her in to a bear hug, but quickly released her when he felt her freeze, apologising as he did.

But she waved him off. "I need to get used to it," was all she said.

She was happier than she had been in a long time. Yet, she was still on her anti-depressants, and she still froze when he touched her. But she was working on it. And she would continue to work on it. For Jake's sake. And more importantly; her own.

She hated that even after four years that even a simple accidental touch would make her freeze. But she knew she could get over it, given just a little more time.

But she was proud of herself for coming as far as she had. And she knew that Jack, her dad, and the rest of her friends were proud of her too.

And that was all that mattered.

One week later

Jake lay on his belly on the floor and played with his toy cars, making revving and screeching noises.

Jack walked into the living room with a mug of coffee in hand and sat on the couch. He would stay and help get Jake ready for bed, then head home. He smiled when he thought about his usual routine. He knew tomorrow that Jake would be staying with him and he couldn't wait. He placed his coffee mug on the table in front of him as he continued to watch his son play.

He glanced up and smiled as he saw Sam put her mug down next to his. That wasn't normal. He started to get confused. Usually she would put it at the other end. They always sat at opposite ends of the couch. Maybe she was going to sit closer to him tonight. He felt hope float around his chest at that thought. He looked from her to her coffee mug, then back to her. She looked nervous.

"You ok?" he asked quietly as he watched her shift her weight from one foot to the other and grind her hands together.

She nodded her head and took a deep breath before taking a step towards him and sitting down on his knee, curling up against him. It took her a few seconds to relax and when she did she sighed happily.

"This is new," he said lightly, wondering what to do with his arms.

"I need to know I can do this," she whispered back. "Put your arms around me?"

Happiness swelled in Jack's chest and he hoped against everything that this wasn't a dream. Slowly he wrapped his arms around her and smiled. He rested his clasped hands lightly on her hip and almost exploded with glee when she snuggled in closer.

With a shaking hand and ragged breath, she reached up and her hand hovered over his neck.

"Take your time Sam, I'm not going anywhere," he whispered in her ear.

She swallowed hard and nodded. To who she wasn't sure. She knew she could do this.

_Just do it Sam, _she thought, _just lay your hand on his neck and breathe. He won't attack you._

Slowly and nervously she lay her hand on his neck and smiled happily to herself, she'd done it.

"Thank you," she said, suddenly.

"What for?" he asked.

"Being so patient with me," she looked up at him, trying to see what he was thinking.

"Always," he smiled.

Their coffee and time sat on the table forgotten about until Jake yawned. Sam looked to the clock on the wall. It was well past Jake's bed time, by over an hour.

"Time for bed mister," Sam said as she detangled herself from Jack's soft embrace.

"But I'm not tired mummy," he yawned, covering his mouth.

"Yes, you are. Come on," she held out her hand to him and helped him off the floor.

Between the two of them they got Jake ready and in to bed in five minutes, Jake falling asleep as he walked to bed from the bathroom. Jack carefully picked the small boy up off the floor and carried him to bed and silently tucked him in. Sam placed Mickey next to him before kissing him on the head and walking out of the room.

They made their way back to the living room, where Jack picked up his coffee mug.

"Coffee's cold," he stated after taking a small sip.

"You want another one?" she asked, pointing to the kitchen with her thumb.

"Nah, I should go."

"You could stay…" she trailed off.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, if you wanted," she nodded. "We could do breakfast."

"I'd like that," he smiled as he sat back down on the couch.

Sam sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder and gently put one of her hands in his.

Jack couldn't believe how many steps she had taken that night, but he was so proud of her and couldn't help but smile.

Thoughts of the past five months went through his mind. He couldn't get his head around the fact that he had a son. And the thought of his conception still, and always would, tore him apart with guilt.

He thought of Sam and all the progress she had made since she had walked back into his life. He smiled when he thought of their little family and how well things were going.

They sat in comfortable silence for the next few hours and Jack only noticed the time when he felt Sam fall asleep on his shoulder.

"Hey," he said as he gently shook her. "Time for bed."

Sam nodded as she stood up and stretched. She silently led them up the stairs and Sam walked into her own room while Jack took a step towards the spare room.

"Goodnight Sam," he said, before taking another step towards the room next door.

"Jack?" she asked. He stopped in his tracks when he felt her hand slip into his. He turned around to face her. She chewed on her lower lip as if debating what to say.

"Sam?" he asked in return, looking for their joined hands with their fingers interlaced in a way that felt and looked right.

"Stay with me."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed this story and to those who are now following! I wasn't expecting anything! So I'm very excited that people are actually taking an interest in this. This chapter is darker - just so you know.

"Stay with you?" he asked slowly.

"In here," she pointed towards her room.

"Sam… are you ready for that?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Just to sleep Jack," she laughed lightly.

"Ah!" he ducked his head and smiled shyly. "I knew that."

Sam gently tugged on his hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in a minute," she said as she took the first nightwear that came to hand and walked into her adjoining bathroom.

Slowly she brushed her teeth and removed her minimal makeup. She stripped herself of her clothes and heard Jack in the bathroom down the hall before removing her contact lenses and putting on her glasses.

She picked up her selected nightwear and realised with horror that it was the nightdress she had been wearing the night he had gone over when Jake was ill.

She could remember the way his eyes had traced her body. She blushed at the memory.

'_Pull yourself together Sam,_' she scolded herself as she put the garment on.

Taking a deep breath she looked in the mirror. Her long blonde hair rested just below her collar bone in soft waves, her blue eyes stood out against the black frames of her glasses.

Her body had softened over the years. The hard defined lines of the soldier she once was were long gone. She knew she had put on weight since falling pregnant. Everyone told her she looked good. That she suited it. But she found it hard to believe. Yet at the same time, she loved how motherhood had affected her.

She sighed as she looked at her hips and waist, no longer as smooth and toned. She had tried to keep in shape, but had always chosen Jake's happiness over her physical appearance.

She knew she hadn't put on _that_ much weight. She looked healthier now than she had done in years. But still… she couldn't help but compare herself to the person she had been years ago.

'_God Sam, look at you. When did you get so fat?_' a voice in her head taunted her. '_What kind of mother are you? Letting your rapist in to your son__'__s life? He__'__s dangerous! His first son SHOT himself. Do you really want to lose Jake that way?_'

'_Shut up! He__'__s a good man! Jake loves him. What happened to Charlie was an accident!_'

'_You__'__re pathetic! You should never have come back here. You__'__re putting your son in danger. Your rapist is in your bedroom. He__'__s done it once, he__'__ll do it again._'

Sam drew in a shaky breath as she balled up her fists and buried them in her eyes, almost knocking the glasses off her face.

'_SHUT UP!_'

Forcing herself to end the internal argument she exhaled longley and straightened her glasses and walked back in to her room.

She could see Jack sitting on the end of her bed, still fully clothed and looking lost. She felt relieved to know she wasn't the only one who was nervous.

He turned to face her when she walked back into the room. His mouth fell open slightly as he took in her appearance. He swallowed his desire but knew that it was still shining in his eyes.

"God, you're beautiful," he whispered as Sam shifted nervously under his attentive gaze. He watched as colour filled her cheeks from his words.

"You sleeping in your clothes?" she asked, trying to take the attention away from herself as she slowly took a step towards him.

"I don't mind staying in the spare room or going home," he stated when she was directly in front of him.

"Don't be ridiculous Jack," she laughed nervously. "I want you to stay with me," she added as she took his hands in hers and pulled him to his feet.

Dropping his hands, she slowly raised her hands to the buttons on his shirt and shakily undone the top two before the internal voice taunted her again.

'_You__'__re just asking to be raped again,_' is spat.

She felt her eyes glaze over as she argued with it.

"Sam?" a voice asked her breaking through her thoughts.

She blinked a few times before realising that her hands were still on the third button of his shirt and that his hands lightly covered hers to control the shaking. She slowly looked up in to his eyes and saw they were filled with a mixture of worry and fear.

"I'm ok," she said softly in reply as she nodded and undone the third and fourth button on his shirt, his hands still covering hers.

"Are you sure?" worry filled his voice as she undone the final few buttons and shook his hands off hers.

She swallowed hard as she nodded and pushed his shirt off his shoulders. They let it fall to the floor at his feet.

"I'm ok," she repeated as she reached for the belt buckle, clumsily undoing it. "Take your t-shirt off."

Sam heard, more than saw, the t-shirt fall to the floor beside his shirt. Taking a deep breath she opened the button on his jeans.

"Sam," her eyes met his. "Get in to bed."

Silently she nodded and turned towards her bed, running her hands angrily through her hair. Her eyes welled with tears as she heard him take off his jeans and pick up his discarded clothes. He put them on the chair in the corner of the room as he watched her settle in to bed facing the centre.

He timidly climbed in beside her and saw that she was no longer wearing her glasses. He noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Sam? What's wrong? Do you want me to go?" he asked as he started getting out of bed.

"NO!" she said urgently, grabbing one of his hands and pulling him back. "I need you to stay."

He looked over every inch of her beautiful face and got back into bed. He lay on his back and turned his face towards her.

"Just kick me out if you need to," he told her softly.

She nodded as she scooted closer to him and propped herself up on her elbow. Letting go of his hand she raised it, trembling, to his face and traced his cheek with her thumb.

"You don't have to take all the steps tonight Sam, you know I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

"I know," was all she said as she let her thumb trace his lips. He gasped at the unexpected touch and her eyes flew to his. All she could see was love and desire.

'_Why would he want _you?' the voice in her head snarled. '_You__'__re pathetic and weak and fat and a sorry excuse for a mother. He could do so much better. But maybe he likes the rapeable ones._'

Sam tried to ignore the voice in her head as she looked into his chocolate brown eyes. He didn't think that about her. Did he?

Slowly, Sam moved her face closer to his and cupped his cheek with her hand. She closed her eyes when she was mere centimetres away then closed the gap.

Her lips rested softly over his and she heard his breath hitch in his throat. She knew she had surprised him. She had surprised herself… and the voice in her head.

Slowly and gently she applied more pressure and patiently waited for him to respond. He didn't.

"I won't brake Jack," she breathed.

"I don't want you to regret this," came his soft reply as he softly stroked her cheek with his hand. He couldn't help but notice when she flinched slightly at his touch.

"It's just a goodnight kiss Jack. I'm pretty sure I won't."

"Just a goodnight kiss," he repeated, laughing quietly.

"What?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"You're going to be the death of me Sam. You know that, right?" he laughed as he stroked her soft hair and twirled some of it around his fingers.

"I just want to let you in," she whispered softly, looking down to his chest.

"And I appreciate that. You know I do. But Sam, don't you think this is a bit fast?" he tilted her chin up so she would meet his eyes again.

"Its been four years Jack. I just want to put it behind us. Move on. Be as much of a family as we can be. For Jake's sake. He deserves to be happy."

"What about you Sam? What about your sake? Are you happy?"

"I just want Jake to be happy. That's all I care about," she said.

"Sam, you deserve to be happy too. Jake won't be one hundred percent happy if you're not. Are you happy Sam?" he repeated, his voice full of emotion.

"No," she finally admitted. She liked to pretend she was. Even tried to fool herself, but she knew it wasn't working. Not really. Sure, she was happy with all the progress she had made over the past five months, but she wasn't happy with herself.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

'_Because you__'__re fat, ugly, blind, weak, pathetic, a sorry excuse of a mother,_' the voice chanted over and over.

"Sam? Why aren't you happy?" he asked again.

She swiftly removed herself from his feather light grip and curled up in a ball facing away from him.

'_He__'__ll never love you. You__'__re too much work, an emotional wreck,_' the voice told her.

"Sam?"

"Because I'm fat and ugly and blind. I'm weak and pathetic because I run away from my problems instead of facing them," she whispered quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear her words.

But the sharp intake of breath behind her told her otherwise. He put his hand on her shoulder, glad when she didn't flinch, and gently pulled her back so she was lying flat on the bed.

"Sam, you're not far, you look amazing and healthy. You're not blind, I doubt those glasses are strong, your eyesight can't be as bad as Daniel's. You're one of the strongest people I know, you came back to face me remember? That must have taken a lot of guts! Therefore, not weak or pathetic."

"But you think I'm ugly," she sighed acceptingly.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" he laughed, disbelievingly. "How can you think you're ugly? You're the most beautiful woman I know. I've thought that for years, but when you walked back into my life five months ago, telling me all the you did…. It made you more beautiful. You're the mother of my child, you're letting me in after I done the unthinkable to you and I can't thank you enough."

"I don't think I've ever heard you say so much."

"Sam, I mean every word. And I will protect you and Jake as much as I can."

"Why?" she could understand protecting Jake. He was his son. But her?

"Because I love you. Both of you."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So here's chapter 3. Sorry about the delay - I've had extra hours at work (yay!), and I've also had a few hospital runs this week… but one of them has made everything worth it! Mum no longer has any cancer cells in her body - the bugger is gone! - but she still needs to get the rest of her treatment… Just incase. This is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

3

"What?" she managed to choke out after a few moments of silence, as she sat up on the bed, looking at him as though he was crazy.

"I love you."

"No. No, you love Jake."

"Of course I love him. He's my son. But I love you too Sam," he said. "I have done for longer than you know"

Sam shook her head as she climbed out of bed and started inching towards her bedroom door. She gulped back tears. Did he honestly love her?

'_He__'__s playing with your mind_,' the voice told her. '_He__'__s only after one thing and you__'__re stupid enough to give it to him, aren__'__t you?__'_

The voice in her head rendered her motionless again. Jack scrambled across and out of the bed towards her. He looked into her glazed over eyes and over her expressionless face and couldn't stop the tidal wave of worry crash over him.

"Sam?" He asked as he gently stroked a finger over her cheek.

She jumped back to reality in shock at his touch. Her eyes locked with his.

"What's wrong? You keep spacing out."

"Nothing. I'm fine," she said quickly. She could tell by the look on his face that he knew she was lying.

"I should go. You're obviously uncomfortable," he said as he started to turn away from her, hoping like hell she would stop him and explain what was going on.

"Please stay," she said, her voice breaking as she reached out and touched his arm.

"Sam you need to tell him what's going on. I'm getting worried here."

"I can't," she whispered as she removed her hand from his arm and let it fall to her side a she looked at the floor.

"Why can't you?"

"I don't know how. I can't explain it to myself."

"Get into bed and we'll talk," he lay a hand on her arm and gently guided her towards her bed.

Silently she got back into bed and sat crossed legged under the duvet. Jack pulled his t-shirt back on before sitting beside her, on top of the duvet.

"I don't want to talk," she said as she looked at her hands in her lap.

"You need to."

"I don't know how to say it to myself. I just…"

"You just what?" he asked as he watched her move to her knees and turn to face him.

"I just need you to…" she began nervously as she moved closer to him.

"Just need me to, what?" he tried to keep his voice steady as she got out from beneath the duvet and straddled his lap and cupped his face with her hands.

"Kiss me goodnight and go to sleep," she whispered as she once again rested her lips on his.

Instinctively, one of Jack's hands buried itself in her long soft hair and the other rested on her hip, gently pulling her closer as he kissed her back.

Sam opened her mouth to his requesting tongue as she let go of his face and gripped the bottom of his t-shirt in both hands before pulling it up. Sam only broke the kiss to pull it over his head. As soon as it was off she threw it to the other side of the room and kissed him again, while wrapping her legs around his waist and moving closer to him.

She held him close and tightly before breaking the passionate kiss. Running a hand affectionately down his face as she caught her breath she rested her forehead on his.

Jack looked into her eyes and was surprised to see them filled with happiness. He smiled gleefully at her. He hadn't expected the kiss to turn as passionate as it had. He had to restrain himself to not kiss her again. He would always let her make the first move.

Softly she leaned in again and kissed him gently and full of promise. He gently gripped her hips and brought her impossibly closer to him. He never wanted to let her go. But he knew that it was going too fast.

"Goodnight Jack," she whispered as she detangled herself from him, smiling against his lips.

She couldn't help but laugh lightly when he groaned at the loss of contact.

"You really are gonna be the death of me Sam," he muttered as he got under the duvet. He placed a kiss on her forehead when she curled up at his side and almost instantly fell asleep on his chest.

SJSJSJSJ

"DADDY!" Jake yelled, his voice full of wonder and excitement as he ran in to his mothers bedroom.

"Hey buddy," Jack yawned as Jake energetically ran to his dad's side of the bed.

"You stayed!" he smiled as he gripped onto Jack's arm and attempted to haul himself up onto the bed.

"Shh, mummy's still sleeping," he told the little boy quietly.

"Ok," he whispered as Jack set him on the bed next to him. Jake lay down next to Jack and cuddled in.

Jack loved the feel of his son cuddling into him. An uncontrollable amount of happiness welled inside his chest every time it happened. And he hoped it always would. He counted himself very lucky to have his son in his life, but even luckier that his son loved him.

"Mummy's pretty," Jake whispered to his dad as he looked up at him, brown eyes meeting brown.

"I know she is buddy," Jack whispered back.

"Mummy got a new dress. Its blue. She looks like a princess in it."

"Really?" Jack raised his eyebrows, he'd rarely seen Sam Carter in a dress.

"Uh huh," Jake said as he slipped out of bed and rushed towards his mothers wardrobe. "Wanna see?" he asked as he pulled one of the doors open.

Jack gently pushed Sam off his chest and placed her head on a pillow as he got out of bed. It only took a couple of seconds to reach his son's side and gently tug his arm away from the door and close it with his other hand.

"Don't you want to see mummy's princess dress?"

"I don't think mummy would want us snooping through her clothes," he told his disappointed son.

"Mummy wants a cuddle," Sam yawned as she began to wake up.

Jake ran towards the bed and jumped into his mothers waiting arms and held on tight.

"Daddy stayed mummy!" he told her, his excitement contagious.

"I know he did baby. Daddy's gonna have breakfast with us before he goes to work."

"Can we has boo-berry pancakes?" he pleaded his mother, putting on his puppy dog eyes.

"Boo-berry pancakes? I dunno if Daddy will want boo-berry pancakes, you'll need to ask him."

"Daddy!" he said as he turned around in his mothers arms to see Jack putting his jeans on. "Do you want boo-berry pancakes? Mummy makes yummy boo-berry pancakes!"

"I'd love some boo-berry pancakes," he smiled in return as he put on his t-shirt.

SJSJSJSJ

"I don't want Daddy to go!" Jake cried, tears in his eyes, as Jack got ready to leave.

"I need to go to work buddy, but I'll see you afterwards, its Friday remember? Sleepover at Daddy's house tonight," he said as he ran his hand through his son's soft brown hair.

"But…" he sniffed. "We could go play in park."

"Tomorrow," he promised. "Maybe Mummy would like to come to?"

"Ok," he looked down at the floor as a few tears fell down his small face. Jack tilted his face up and wiped away the tears.

"I'll see you soon, I promise, you'll be having so much fun with Mummy you won't even know I'm gone."

"I'll miss you," he said as he threw himself into his fathers arms.

"I'll miss you too," he said as he held the little boy close and picked him up as he rubbed a hand up and down his back. He looked over to Sam, who wasn't yet dressed but wrapped up in her dressing gown, who was leaning against the kitchen door watching the exchange with a smile on her face.

Jack handed Sam their son as he turned to leave.

"Thanks for breakfast. You do make yummy boo-berry pancakes," he smiled as Jake wrapped his arms around Sam's neck.

"I learnt from the best," Sam replied as he adjusted Jake on her hip. Jack raised his eyebrows in question. "My mother's recipe," she explained.

"Ah!" he stepped towards the door and opened it. "I'll see you both later."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Sam asked as he took a step put of the house. He looked at her, confused, as she stood in the doorway. She tapped her lips with a finger and smiled.

He smirked and took a step closer to her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned in to kiss her softly.

"These," he whispered in her ear as he tapped her glasses, "are very sexy. You should wear them more often."

And with that he was gone.

"So," Sam said as she closed the door after waving Jack goodbye, "What would you like to do today?"

"Don't know," Jake said, still teary.

"How about we see if we can find more track for Thomas and Percy?" she suggested.

"James and Edward too?" he asked, sniffing the tears away.

"And Gordon and Henry and Annie and Clarabel. Sound good?"

"YAY!" he said as he clapped his hands together.

"Go pick out some clothes while Mummy has a shower," she said as she put him down and watched him climb the stairs, following closely behind.

As she stood under the spray of the shower worry consumed her. Could she let herself be with Jack? Could she be happy? Could she give Jack the thing he wanted most? Could they be a family?

'_You__'__re going to ruin everything. You__'__re going to ruin your son__'__s life if you keep leading him on._'

The razor slipped out of her grip as the voice shouted at her. She bit her lip as pain shot down her leg. She looked down and saw blood mix with the water.

She knew she'd have to talk to someone about the voice in her head.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks to my loyal reviewers! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one too. I had so much fun writing it! The Thomas train set mentioned is Thomas Trackmaster: Thomas Daring Drop! And I really want to buy it for my honorary nephew… so I can play with it, it looks so much fun! (just so you know… the more reviews I get, the faster I tend to write… just saying ****J**** ) **

4

Sam was sat on her bathroom floor, dried and in her underwear, when Jake ran in to the room, his arms full of clothes.

The clothes fell to the floor as soon as he saw his mother's cut leg and the blood still running freely from it.

"Mummy?" he asked, never taking his eyes away from her leg.

"It's okay baby, it's just a cut," she smiled reassuringly.

"But… blood mummy," he pointed to her leg.

"Baby, could you get me a towel from my room?" she asked as she pressed her hand against her cut. Jake stood frozen as he watched the blood trickle down her leg. "Jake?" she snapped her fingers at him and watched him jump back to reality. "Towel?"

Jake gulped and nodded before running into the bedroom and coming back a minute later with a clean towel. Sam took it from him and held it to her leg as she pulled herself along the floor towards the cabinet under the sink. She rummaged around looking for the small first aid kit she knew was in there.

Sam grimaced as she cleaned and dressed the wound. She winced when she realised how deep it was. How had her razor done that? It was brand new.

"Mummy okay?" Jake sniffed.

"I'm fine baby, see?" she pointed to her nicely dressed leg. "All better. Now let's get you dressed."

Jake nodded and picked up his clothes from the bathroom floor and walked over to his mother. He put his clothes by her side as she started to take off his pyjama's.

Once Jake was dressed and back in his own room Sam limped over to her wardrobe and pulled out a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and jumper. She quickly got dressed and dried her hair.

She stood in her bathroom and looked at her glasses case where she kept her contact lenses. She bit her lip in concentration. She sighed and gave her hair a final brush and walked out of the bathroom, leaving her lenses in the case.

"Come on Jake, time to go!" she called to him from her doorway.

"Ready!" he said as he ran out of his room and down the hall. "Time for shoes Mummy!"

Jake reached for her hand and grabbed hold. He dragged her to the top of the stairs and slowly walked down, sitting on the bottom step waiting patiently for his shoes to be put on.

"I'm sure you can put your own shoes on Jake, I've watched you do it before," Sam laughed as she slipped her feet into her own shoes and taking their jackets down from the pegs by the door.

"But I likes it when you do's it Mummy," he smiled innocently.

Sam laughed as she knelt down in front of her son and slid his feet in to his shoes and doing the Velcro. She winced in pain as she stood up again, something that Jake didn't miss. He looked at her, his face full of worry, and he reminded her of his dad. The older Jake got, the more he looked like Jack.

Sam smiled, hiding the pain, and ruffled his already unruly hair.

Once Jake was securely in his car seat Sam got into the drivers seat and turned on the ignition. Slowly and sometimes painfully, Sam drove them to Toys R Us. Jake bounced around in his car seat when they pulled up into a parking space.

"Jake gets new train too Mummy?" he asked as Sam lifted him out of his car seat and settled him on her hip.

"We'll see what's all there," Sam said before kissing his cheek and locking the car.

As much as Sam wanted to carry her son, the pain in her leg stopped her. Jake was put back down on his feet when they got inside the shop.

"You have to stay with me at all times, okay?" Sam told him, grabbing on to his arm, as he tried to run towards the toys.

"Okay," he sighed, while taking her hand.

"Right, okay, where's Thomas?" Sam asked herself, before being pulled along by her three year old son.

"Let's look this way Mummy!" he exclaimed.

A few minutes later, Jake was standing in front of a whole section devoted to the small engine who he loved so much. His eyes were wide and his jaw hung slack.

"Wow," he said slowly. "Look Mummy! Lots of Thomas's!" he squealed, clapping his hands together in excitement. "I has that Thomas!" he exclaimed pointing to the train set that his dad had bought him a few months ago.

Sam giggled to herself, she loved to see him that excited. Slowly she looked at the section to see what was all there, and saw that he had a few of them. He had been given some for his birthday the month before and still had the money that Grandpa had given him to spend.

Sam hunched down in front of the bottom shelf and saw something that she just knew Jake would _love_.

"Hey Jake, what about this one?" she asked as she took it off the shelf to look at it properly. "Jake?" she asked again, while looking around to her side where he had been just two seconds previously, to see that he had gone. "Jake!" she called as she painfully straightened up to her full height.

The toy lay forgotten about on the floor as she quickly walked up to the top of the aisle and scanned up and down the cross-aisle for him.

"Look Mummy!" an excited voice called up at her from her left hand side.

Sam quickly turned around and looked down to see her smiling son looking up at her with a Barbie in his hands.

"Jake! Don't run off like that!" she scolded him. "That's naughty!" Jake had the decency to look ashamed and mumbled a quiet apology. Sam sighed and run a hand over her face. She looked down at him again, still holding the Barbie. "Jake? Why do you have a Barbie?"

"For my sister!" he said happily.

"Jake, honey, you don't have a sister," she told him softly while hunching down so she was the same height.

"But I want one," he said sadly.

"I know you do. But right now you don't, so we don't need to get a Barbie, do we?"

"Another day?" he asked hopefully.

"Maybe," she replied while pulling him in for a hug, the fear of losing him grew inside her chest.

"Mummy?" he whispered into her shoulder.

"Yeah baby?" she asked, running a hand up and down his back to remind herself that he was still there, safe.

"Sorry. Jake loves Mummy," he told her as he held on tightly, refusing to let go.

"I love you too baby. Come on, come look at this Thomas mummy found," Sam picked him up and held him close, choosing to ignore the pain in her leg. Her son's safety was more important, and she refused to put him down. He was not leaving her sight again.

After they had put Barbie back on the shelf - how Jake had managed to travel that far and reach her in such a short amount of time confused Sam to no end - they made their way back to the abandoned Thomas set on the floor.

It took Jake all of two seconds to know that that was the one he wanted.

"What does box say Mummy?" he asked as he squirmed around in her arms, wanting down. He grabbed the box by one corner and held on as if his life depended on it.

"It says, 'Adventures are getting rocky for Thomas!' it has all the track, a crane, Thomas and a cargo car. And look, there's a gap in the track! Thomas will fall down the drop! Does that look good?"

"Yeah! Cool, Mummy!" he exclaimed as Sam picked him up and settled him on her hip again, the reached down and picked up the big box. "Don't need 'nother train Mummy. Thomas in box, see?"

"Okay," Sam laughed as they made their way towards the checkouts, before stopping and picking up an expansion track pack. Jake smiled brightly at his mother. He was spoiled, and he knew it!

"Someone's a lucky boy!" the young checkout girl gushed as she scanned Jake's items through the till.

"Birfday pennies!" Jake smiled brightly at her, still on his mothers hip.

"Birfday pennies!" the girl smiled back. "I bet you got spoiled!" Jake nodded. "And how old were you on your birfday?" she asked sweetly.

"Free!"

"Three! Wow! Did you have fun?" she asked as Sam handed her the money.

"Uh huh, Daddy gots me cake! Thomas one!" he told her proudly as Sam took her change and receipt.

"Is he your favourite?" the girl asked, while helping Sam balance the train set on her other hip.

"Yup!"

"Thank you," Sam said to the girl, before turning her attention to the beyond happy boy on her other hip. "You carrying this?" she asked as she awkwardly handed him the expansion pack and her car keys. "Say bye to the young lady."

"Bye Miss Young Lady!" he smiled and waved, laughing when she smiled and waved back.

"Mummy?" he asked when they got back to their car.

"Yeah?" Sam asked while awkwardly putting the train set and expansion pack in the boot.

"Is you staying at Daddy's too?"

"No, baby, I'm staying at our house," she told him as she buckled him in.

"Why?"

"Because you love Jake and Daddy time. Mummy stays at home and reads her books."

"But Jakes loves Mummy too," he said innocently, as she got into the drivers seat. "Jake asks Daddy."

SJSJSJSJ

"Mummy Thomas fall! Thomas fall!… Thomas okay!" Jake yelled as he watched Thomas race around the track. Sam was sat on the floor beside him and watched the expressions on his face change in a split second. He had gone from wide-eyed wonder, to fear, to relief, back to wonder in the space of ten seconds.

Jake was too enthralled with his new toy that he didn't hear the knock at the door. Sam, however, did. She stood up, the pain in her leg now a dull throb, and made her way to the door, knowing that Jack was on the other side.

"Hi," she smiled as she stood back and let him in.

"Hi," he replied as she shut the door behind him.

Once the door was shut Jack looked at her properly. Her hair was down, hanging in soft waves like it had been the night before, she was wearing her glasses, no make up and wearing ….. His shirt. He had realised when he had gotten home that morning that he had forgotten it. And there was no way in hell he was asking for it back.

"Sam," he said softly, reaching for her face.

"Jack," she replied as he cupped her face in his hand.

"You look good in my clothes," he whispered as he cautiously took a step closer to her.

"Just get over here," she giggled as she grabbed his jacket and pulled him to her, capturing his lips with hers.

Jack's hand moved from her face to her hair and the other gripped her waist, pulling her closer. He loved the feel of her against him. He smiled against her lips when she moaned softly.

"My turn! My turn!" Jake shouted while trying to pull his parents apart. Once they were separated, he puckered up his lips and held his arms up high facing his mother.

Sam picked him up and gave him a sloppy kiss. Jake laughed hysterically. Once he had given his mother a tight hug he held out his arms to his dad.

"Jake got new Thomas Daddy!" he said once he was safely nestled in his fathers arms.

"Really? Wow! Can I see?"

"Uh huh!"

Jake made his parents sit beside him on the floor while he showed his dad his new train set and all that it could do.

Suddenly Jake looked towards his mother and nodded towards his dad. Sam smiled at him and nodded.

"We gots you present Daddy!" he said as he jumped to his feet and ran over to his mothers bag at the other side of the room. He dug around for a few seconds before finding the black box he was looking for.

"A present? For me?" Jack asked as he was handed the black box.

"Open it!" Jake told him while jumping up and down on the spot.

Jack looked at Sam, who smiled and nodded her head in agreement. Slowly Jack looked from the mother of his child, to his child, to the black box in his hand. Taking a deep breath, he opened the box.

Inside the box, laying comfortably on black padding was a key. And on the key was Thomas.

Jack smiled his lop-sided grin as he looked at the key, to his child - who was still bouncing up and down with a huge grin on his face - to the mother of his child - who was turning an adorable shade of pink.

"A key?" he asked her.

"For the front door," Sam explained. "You can just let yourself in."


	5. Chapter 5

5

"Are you sure?" he asked as he held the key between his fingers.

"Yes," she answered, confidently. "It seems pointless you having to knock all the time, you virtually live here!"

Jack smiled and pulled out his keys. He chuckled softly while putting it on the set he always carried with him. It was certainly the most entertaining key he had ever owned. He knew the whole giving him a key idea would have been Sam's, and he also knew that it would have been his son's idea to get him a key with Thomas on it.

"Daddy," Jake said softly while standing in front of him, the train set temporarily forgotten about.

"Yeah buddy?" Jack asked, looking up at him after he had put his keys back in his pocket. He couldn't miss the guilty look on his son's face.

"Jake was naughty today Daddy. Jake's sorry," he whispered.

"Naughty?" Jake nodded. "What did you do?"

"Rund'd aways from Mummy to gets a Barbie for my sister. Mummy said no. Is Daddy mad?" he asked, a scared tone lacing his voice.

Jack sighed and stood up before sitting on the couch behind him. "Jake," he said sternly. "Come here."

Jake timidly walked the few steps so he was standing in front of his dad, while giving his mother a worried glance. Once Jake was standing in front of him, Jack picked him up and sat him on his knee.

"Has Mummy already told you off?" Jake nodded in reply. "Okay. Did Mummy tell you to stay with her?" Another nod. "So why didn't you?"

"Wanted to gets doll for sister," he sniffed.

"Buddy, you don't have a sister, you know that."

"But I wants one. Please Daddy?"

"It doesn't work like that buddy. When Mummy tells you to stay with her, you stay with her, okay? You need to do what Mummy tells you. I bet Mummy was really scared. Don't do it again."

"Okay Daddy. Is Jake still staying with Daddy tonight?" he asked, worried he would miss out.

"Of course," he pulled his son in for hug and rubbed his back softly.

"Mummy stay too?" he mumbled into Jack's chest.

"Jake, we've spoken about this, Mummy's staying here," Sam told him softly, while getting up of the floor and sitting beside Jack on the couch.

"But I wants you to come too Mummy," he said while turning around in his dad's arms to face her, his face pleading, tears threatening to fall.

"But it's Jake and Daddy time remember?" she asked while rubbing his leg in comfort, only to accidentally rub Jack's inner thigh when Jake moved position to scoot closer to her. She heard Jack gulp at the unexpected contact.

"Please Mummy?" he asked as he crawled onto her lap and wrapped his arms around her neck.

"You're more than welcome Sam," Jack said softly.

Sam looked into Jack's warm brown eyes, full of happiness, to their son's identical begging brown eyes. She sighed. Brown eyes were going to be the end of her.

"Okay, one night," she said reluctantly.

SJSJSJSJ

"You don't have to stay Sam," Jack said when he walked back into the living room after putting Jake to bed.

"You kicking me out Jack?" she teased, while grabbing his beer bottle and taking a large sip.

"Never!" he said, mock offended that she would steal his beer. "You want one of those?" he pointed towards the kitchen.

"Sure," she smiled in reply, knowing all too well that she really shouldn't mix alcohol with her medication. But one would be okay, right?

A few moments later Jack was taking his bottle from her hand and replacing it with a full one of her own. She smiled as he sat down next to her. She moved so that her back was to his side and pulled his arm around her, gently entwining her fingers with his.

"This is nice," he stated, before taking a drink.

"Yeah," she agreed.

They sat in a comfortable silence until both their beers were empty. Sam tilted the bottle and looked inside, frowning with disappointment. It had been so long since she'd had an alcoholic beverage. She hadn't had one since before she'd gotten pregnant with Jake.

"You got more of these?" she asked him as she put the empty bottle on the table.

"You want another one?" he asked as he sat up and detangled his fingers from hers. His hand felt suddenly cold from the loss of contact.

"If you're offering," she smiled sweetly. She could feel the effects of the alcohol already, and knew that she really shouldn't drink anymore. But what the hell, one more wouldn't kill her.

He grabbed her empty bottle before walking to the kitchen again. When he returned he had hoped that they would sit the way they had been before. But Sam had other plans.

He sat back down on the couch and watched as she turned herself around so that she was facing him. She threw her legs over his lap and curled into his side, while resting her head on his shoulder. Oh yeah, this was better.

"Jack?" Sam asked after she had taken a large mouthful.

"Yeah?" he replied while running his fingers through her hair.

"We should probably talk about this whole Jake wants a sister thing… again," she said quietly, looking at her beer bottle as though it was the most fascinating thing on the planet.

"Not until you're ready Sam," he said as he tilted her face so she was looking at him.

"I just want to be able to give him what he wants."

"I know you do. But you have to be ready, he might not understand now, but he will when he's older."

"Yeah," she sighed and took another large mouthful, looking away from her son's father.

Sam finished her beer and put the bottle on the table. God, she felt drunk. She drunkenly reminded herself that because she was on pills the alcohol would affect her quicker and make it seem as though she had drunk a lot more than she actually had. Drunkenly she had the urge to seduce Jack.

"Jack? Do you wanna go to bed?" she whispered in his ear.

"Sam it's only," he looked at his watch, "just after nine."

"C'mon Jack," she whispered as she straddled his lap. "Let's go to bed."

Somehow she managed to slide off him and drag him to his feet. She kissed him softly while wrapping her arms around his waist and pulled him closer to her as she began to walk backwards. She pulled back from the kiss to see him staring at her with lust filled eyes. She smiled seductively while biting her lower lip and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards his bedroom and closed the door behind them.

It wasn't until he was lying on his bed, flat on his back, with Sam on top of him, that he realised what was going on.

"Sam, no, you're drunk," he mumbled through her kiss.

"I've had two Jack, I'm not that drunk," she replied while running her hands over his now exposed chest.

Jack grabbed her wrists and sat up, her hands still on his chest, their faces mere inches apart.

"No Sam," he told her.

"But I want you," she whispered huskily. "Don't you want me?"

Jack's eyebrows met his hairline. She has said those words to him before, years ago during the Broca virus incident.

"Of course I want you, just not like this. You're not ready," his voice was stern but his resolve was fading and he knew she could see it in his eyes.

"But I am ready Jack," she said as she ground her hips into his, smiling when he groaned. "I want you. Please Jack."

"This is a bad idea Sam," he whispered as he released her wrists. She smiled brightly at him before kissing him passionately and moved her hands to his belt.

SJSJSJSJ

Sam groaned as she woke up, running a hand over her face and through her hair. Why did her head hurt so bad?

"Morning sunshine!" Jack chirped as he walked into his bedroom, fully clothed and with a mug of steaming hot coffee in his hand.

"I don't feel so good," she moaned as she tried to sit up in his bed.

"That would be the beer you drank last night," he smiled as he sat down next to her, running a hand over her hair.

"How many did I have?"

"Two. But I'm guessing its been a while since you last drank."

"I haven't had any since before I got pregnant with Jake. And those damn pills make it feel as though I've drank more than I have."

She watched as his face darkened and flinched at his dark eyes.

"You're not supposed to drink while being on them, are you?" he asked, already knowing the answer, but unable to stay mad at her.

"Strictly speaking, no. If I had known it was gonna be as bad as this I wouldn't have bothered. I can't remember much after you handed me that second bottle."

"Oh it got interesting," he chuckled.

"Oh God. What did I do?"

"You, uh, tried to seduce me," he laughed at her when she turned red and tried to hide under his duvet. He stopped her. "You got as far as taking my shirt off and unbuckling my belt before you passed out."

"Mummy!" came Jake's loud voice from the doorway, saving her from further embarrassment - for the moment - but not from the pounding in her head.

"Shh, baby, shh, Mummy has a really sore head this morning," she said as he ran over to her and took a hold of her hand, trying to drag her out of bed.

"Time for breakfast Mummy," he said just before his stomach rumbled.

"Daddy will get it for you, Mummy needs more sleep," she said as Jack picked him up by the waist.

"Come on Jake, I'll make you breakfast, let Mummy sleep a little longer," Jack settled Jake on his hip and started to walk towards the kitchen.

"Can I has froot-loops again Daddy?"

Froot-loops? That explained why her son always came home hyper after staying at his dads.

Sam rolled over in the bed and wrapped the duvet around herself. Her eyes caught sight of the photos on his bedside cabinet. She smiled when she saw the pictures of Charlie and Jake next to each other. Slowly she drifted off to sleep again.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank to all who have reviewed recently. Very much appreciated! This chapter is darker towards the end - just a warning. Please keep reviewing - your words keep me writing!**

**And to BruisedReed - I know that Sam can't be a pilot in the AF and need glasses, but in the first part of this story Sam left the AF. And I'm sure you're aware, eyesight does get worse for some people as they get older… and Sam is a workaholic. So too many hours of working at a computer is sure to do some damage at some point. I've been wearing glasses since I was 8 and my eyesight is a LOT worse now than what it was 17 years ago. Not having a moan, just saying.**

**p.s. no beta, so all mistakes are my own. Enjoy! And please review.**

6

Sam opened her eyes again two hours later, feeling much more refreshed but still a tad hungover. Sighing, she kicked off Jack's duvet and laughed to herself. She was still in the clothes she had put on the previous morning. Jack, ever the gentleman.

A wave of dizziness washed over her as she sat up. Yeah, drinking those beers had not been one of her better ideas. Taking a few deep breaths she prepared herself for standing up. Swinging her legs around she placed her feet on the floor and put her hands at either side of herself.

"How you feeling?" Jack asked as he walked into his room.

"Like I've been hit by a train," she replied, glancing at him leaning on the doorframe.

"Need me to hold your hair?" he asked lightly. She could hear the smirk in his voice.

"No, I think I'll be fine. Do you mind if I take a shower?" she asked as she slowly stood up, her leg protesting slightly from the cut.

"I'll get you a towel," he smiled as she began walking towards his bathroom.

Once inside his bathroom, Sam took off her jumper and socks, putting them on top of the closed toilet seat. By the time Jack arrived with the towel she had somehow managed to get her t-shirt tangled while trying to pull it over her head. Stupid alcohol.

"Need a hand?" he laughed.

"Please," she huffed, embarrassed, again.

He got the t-shirt off in one fluid motion, much to the annoyance of Sam, how did he manage to get her t-shirt off when she couldn't? So not fair. She put it on top of her jumper and socks before turning to face him again.

"Thank you."

"You really are trying to kill me, aren't you?" he whispered, trying to stop his eyes from looking over her near naked torso.

To Sam's surprise, she didn't feel the need to cover up.

"Nope, not on the cards… yet," she smiled cheekily while undoing the button and zip on her jeans.

"Oh God, Sam," he managed to choke out as she shimmied out of her jeans and stood before him in her underwear. He swallowed hard as he took in the rest of her, while taking a few steps back towards the door.

He suddenly halted to a stop when he saw the patch of fabric on her leg.

"What happened?" he asked, concerned, as he pointed towards her leg.

"Fell out with my razor. It won," she shrugged, trying to hide how bothered she was by it. "I'm sure it's fine now."

Jack nodded, not trusting himself to do anything else. He pointed to the door with his thumb. "I'll go check on Jake."

A minute later, the bathroom door was closed and Sam was under the shower spray. It wasn't until she was soaked in water that she realised that she didn't have anything to wash herself or her hair with. She shrugged to herself, Jack's stuff would have to do.

After a long hot shower, Sam finally felt slightly more human. She picked up the towel that Jack had brought for her to see that he had also brought one for her hair. She smiled at his thoughtfulness.

Once she was dried and the towels wrapped securely around her, she opened the door and stepped back into his bedroom. She was sat on his bed, pulling her clean socks on when he walked back in, apparently expecting her to be dressed. He averted his eyes quickly. She laughed at him.

"Never seen a woman in a towel before Jack?" she teased, sounding bold, reasoning it must be an effect of the alcohol from the night before. Yay alcohol.

"Of course I have, I just…." he trailed off.

She patted the space beside her on the bed as she finished pulling on her socks. Nervously, he sat beside her, his hands resting awkwardly on his lap.

"Jake occupied?" she asked, setting her foot back on the floor.

"Yeah, watching Thomas," he said still not looking at her.

"Good," she whispered as she turned his face to meet hers, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. Her fingers threaded through the short hair at the back of his neck as she pulled him in closer. She smiled as she pulled back and looked deep into his eyes. "I love you," she whispered, barely audible.

"What?" he asked, beyond surprised by her words.

"You heard?" she asked, taken aback.

"I heard something that sounded suspiciously like 'I love you' come out of your mouth," he smiled, his grin getting wider with every word.

"You heard right," she flamed scarlet.

"But, Sam, I-"

"I don't care," she silenced him, knowing the words that came out of his mouth would have been 'but, Sam, I raped you.'

"You don't… care," he trailed off, confused. "How can you not care? I care about what I done to you!" he stayed silent for a few moments before speaking again. "So you forgive me?" he asked in wonder.

"There was never anything to forgive, Jack," she said, never breaking eye contact.

"But-"

"You were drugged. You had no control. That person wasn't you. It's taken me a long time to realise that. But I finally have, and that's what matters, right?"

"I'll never forgive myself Sam, never."

"I know," she said sadly as she caressed his cheek.

"Stay there," he smiled as he unwrapped her hair from the towel. She looked at him questioningly.

He walked to the other side of the room and pulled a hairdryer and hairbrush out of one of the drawers. He sat behind Sam after plugging it in. Sam turned and looked at him, her eyebrows raised.

"Cassie's," he shrugged in answer. "Can I?" he motioned towards her hair.

"Sure," she smiled softly before turning around, so she was once again facing away from him.

Gently Jack ran the brush through her hair, careful not to tug too hard and hurt her. Once all the knots were out of her hair and her parting in place, he turned the hairdryer on.

It took him longer to dry her hair than it would have taken Sam, but she didn't mind. It gave her time to think. She couldn't believe that she had told him she loved him. Stupid alcohol.

It was true though. She had loved him for a long time. Even the incident leading to Jake's conception hadn't altered her feelings much. Sure, she was angry and hurt that it would ever happen and that she couldn't defend herself, but the fact was: he had been drugged.

She knew she had been hugely unfair to him in the beginning, but her pride had been hurt and it had taken a lot more effort than she thought it would have. And she regretted treating him the way that she had. But it was all in the past and he forgave her for it as soon as he had found out she was on pills to help her cope with everything.

She was thankful that for the past two nights they had spent together, she hadn't had nightmares. More often than she'd like to think about, she woke up covered in sweat, panting and physically sore as she relived that night. She hated going to sleep because she knew there was a good chance that she would feel his weight on top of her and the searing pain of his assault.

Even after four years it plagued her nightmares and sometimes her waking hours. Sometimes in images, others in remembered physical pain, and in the past five months she had come back to the Springs it had taken on the form of the voice in her head.

She knew what she was doing was right for her son. But she wasn't sure if it was right for her. Yet, despite everything; she still loved him and wanted to be with him. To give herself fully to him and to have him in return. She was torn. And it was eating her up inside.

She knew she had to tell him. And get professional help.

When the nightmares and pain had originally become unbearable, she had spoken to her dad. He urged her to talk to someone. That was how, after giving birth, she had been put on her medication. Much to her disappointment. She had wanted to breastfeed Jake. The pills had taken that option away from her. But she knew she needed them. So she took them, with very little complaint.

"Jack?" she whispered once he had finished drying her hair.

"You know, apart from Cassie, you're the only one who's let me do that," she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Jack?" she asked again, louder, so he would hear her.

"Yeah?" he asked in return, putting the hairdryer on the floor and the brush beside it.

"We need to talk," she said, lowering her eyes to her hands that were resting in her lap. She heard him swallow, knowing that he was expecting the worst.

"What about?" he asked as he settled himself against the headrest.

Sam took a deep breath before turning around to face him, careful to keep the towels in place. "The other night, when you asked me why I kept spacing out, I said I couldn't explain it…"

"I know that wasn't the truth Sam," he stated as he watched her grind her hands together.

"No, it wasn't. I want to tell you about what's going on inside my head, but I don't want to scare you and send you running for the hills."

"You won't. You know I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this for the long-haul. I will always stand by you and Jake, no matter what."

"I have a voice in my head. It talks to me, sometimes. Most of the time it yells at me. Tells me I'm making a huge mistake by letting you in to my son's life. When you stayed over it kept yelling at me, saying that you've… you've" she sniffed as all her pent up emotions came crashing down on her. "Raped me once and that you'll do it again. And that I'm stupid for letting you anywhere near Jake, considering what happened to….

"I don't want to be this way Jack. The more I try and let you in, the voice gets more aggressive and hurtful. It tells me I'm a sorry excuse of a mother and that I'll get Jake taken away from me because I'm on pills. And I get these nightmares, about what happened that night. They feel so real and…" she trailed off as Jack drew her into his arms. She couldn't help but freeze when he touched her; the images of that night swimming in front of her eyes.

"Shh, Sam, shh, I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to help," he soothed while holding her head to his chest and running a hand up and down her back.

"Mummy?" came Jake's timid sounding voice from the doorway.

Sam sniffed and wiped her face as she pulled away from Jack's grip. She turned around to face her son and saw that he was scared. She beckoned him over and held his familiar body to hers. Her fear and pain melting away slightly as he breathed on to her neck, his arms holding on tight.

"Loves you Mummy," he whispered.

"I love you too baby. I thought you were watching Thomas."

"Finished."

"Come on buddy, I'll put another one on for you," Jack said as he put a hand on his son's knee. "Mummy and I need to talk."

"But-"

"I'll be fine baby, you go watch TV for a bit," she kissed his cheek before Jack carried him away.

In no time at all, Jack was back at her side, pulling her further up the bed so they could lay down side by side. Sam lay flat on her back while Jack lay on his side, propped up on his elbow. She looked up at him and tried to smile. He reached out and traced her face with his hand before leaning in for a soft kiss.

Sam let him kiss her, and even responded, for a few seconds until images she really didn't want to see crossed her mind.

She was struggling to break free, to stop him. But he was too strong. He easily held her to the ground. Her back was sore; the ground was covered in large rocks, many of which where underneath her. He held her wrists above her head using only one hand with ease. He sat on her knees, holding her in place. His free hand was ripping at her clothes.

"No, Colonel, please. Don't do this! Sir, please stop!" she begged as tears ran freely down her face.

Jack grabbed her by the shoulders and sat her up on the bed. She was still begging for him to stop. He could see in her eyes that she was lost in a memory and he had no idea how to get her out of it.

"Sam, please wake up!" he said as he shook her slightly, but still she continued to beg.

He tried kissing her, but it didn't wake her. He tried shaking her again, harder, but that only made her beg louder. He knew that if she kept getting louder, Jake would appear in the doorway again. He had to do something. And fast.

Taking a deep breath and promising himself that he would never to it again, he raised his hand and slapped her across the face. She jumped back to reality and looked at his grief stricken face.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to all who have reviewed and started following this story. It means a lot!**

**It has been brought to my attention that some of you may not like my Britishisms. I'm Scottish and I just type them automatically. If it bothers you and you would like me to use Americanisms so it's more in character, please let me know and I will try my best to remember to use them.**

**Thanks again guys.**

7

"Colonel?" she whispered as her left hand went to her cheek, soothing the burning skin.

"Sam, I'm sorry, so sorry!" he told her, wanting her to understand.

"You hit me," she stated, while moving out of his grip and off the bed. She grabbed the bag she had brought with her and escaped into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Tearing the towel from her body she got dressed in record time. Once she was fully dressed she threw the clothes she had left in the bathroom into the bag. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the bag.

As quietly as she could, she unlocked the door. She knew he would be waiting for her on the other side. All she had to do was get out. Easy, right?

He stood by his bed as she opened the door. He looked guilty, and torn. She could see the fear etched across his face and his eyes were full of sadness.

With speed she had long forgotten she had, she bolted towards the door. But didn't quite make it before his arms snaked around her waist, pulling her to him.

"Sam!" he called in to her ear as she struggled. Suddenly she stopped, and he felt her go limp in his arms. Gently he lowered her to the floor, keeping an arm behind her shoulders.

He looked at her peaceful face as he felt her neck for a pulse. After a few seconds he found it, strong and steady. She moaned when he tapped her chin lightly, not wanting to touch her red cheek again.

"Jack?" she whispered as she came around, squinting against the light flooding in the window.

"Sam, you okay?" he asked as she struggled to sit up before scrambling towards the bathroom. He jumped to his feet and followed her, finding her with her head over the toilet.

Silently he walked over to her and gathered her hair back into his hand. Once her hair was secured at the nape of her neck he rubbed her back in soothing circles.

When she was confident she was done, she sat back and wiped her mouth with the cloth that Jack held out for her. After flushing the toilet he sat down next to her and wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry," she said, refusing to look him in the eye.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," he told her, while tucking some of her now free hair behind her ears.

"I have a lot to be sorry about," she said to her hands.

"No, you don't. If it wasn't for me, none of this would be happening."

"Then I wouldn't have Jake. I need him Jack."

"I know, so do I."

"Jack, I need help," she said, finally looking him in the eye.

"I know," he said sadly, knowing he was the cause of all her pain and troubles. "And I'm gonna help you get it. We'll get through this Sam, just like we always do. Together. And I think we should call Dad."

Sam nodded mutely as more tears ran down her face. She reached over to Jack, and he took her in to his arms, finally realising what she went through on a daily basis. He wished she had told him sooner.

SJSJSJSJ

Jack stood at the bottom of the ramp, hands in his pockets, shifting nervously on his feet as the iris opened and Jacob Carter stepped through. It had been four months since he had last seen the older man. And he was scared.

"Jack!" Jacob greeted him, shaking the younger man's hand. "Why so nervous?" his smile faltered. "Is it Sam? Jake? What happened? Are they alright?"

"Jake's fine. It's Sam I'm worried about," he said as Jacob let go of his hand.

It wasn't until they were both buckled in to Jack's truck that Jack started to explain what was going on.

"I slapped her Jacob. I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do," Jack sighed, his voice full of guilt.

"Why did you slap her Jack?!" Jacob's voice rising with every word, making Jack cower.

"We were talking, and I kissed her-"

"You what?!" Jack flinched at his pseudo-father-in-law's outburst.

"Thing's have been going very well recently Jacob!" he shouted back, defending himself. He watched the older man back down and wait for an explanation.

"Okay, you kissed her, then what?"

"You know, you were the one that talked her in to letting me in. And she has. And now you're yelling at me for kissing her? What's that about?" Jack asked as he continued to drive to Sam's house, where he had taken her and Jake before heading to the mountain.

"Sorry, my over-protective side came out a bit there. Continue."

"I don't know what happened. We've kissed before and nothing like that happened. She just stopped kissing me back and started begging me to stop. She went in to a trance and I tried shaking her out of it, but it didn't work. I slapped her and she seemed to come around, but then she tried to run then passed out."

"God, not again," Jacob sighed as he ran a hand over his face.

"Again? What do you mean again? This has happened before?" Jack's voice got more worried with every word. He felt his heart speed up and constrict.

"What happened when she woke up?"

"She ran to the bathroom and threw up."

"Same as last time," Jacob whispered.

"Jacob, what's going on?" he was halfway to Sam's and he still had no idea what to do.

"When Jake was one, Mark decided that she needed to get out more. She was always with Jake. Never let him out of her sight. He eventually persuaded her to go out with his wife one night. Just for food and a movie. So she went, and this guy started to come on to her. It was a disaster. She had a panic attack when he reached for her hand. Mark had to pick them up an hour after he had dropped them off.

"After that she started to go in to these trances, like the one you mentioned, every now and again. Jack, I swear to you, you done nothing wrong by slapping her. Believe me, it's the only way to wake her up, I've tried every other way. Nothing else works," he sighed regretfully, "I thought that she'd gotten over them. But then again, she's confronting new fears now that she's back in the Springs. I'm sorry, I should have warned you."

"She mentioned that she still has nightmares about that night, and sometimes wakes up physically sore. Now she has a voice in her head. This is so messed up. And it's all my fault."

"No, it's the alien's fault. They were the ones who drugged you remember?"

"Doesn't change the fact that I'm Black Ops trained and I should have been able to handle it."

"Black Ops doesn't prepare you for alien drugs Jack, you know that."

"She wants help Jacob. And she needs you. I've managed to get her an appointment with MacKenzie tomorrow."

"Good. But you know this isn't going to be easy Jack. This is gonna take a long time for her to sort through." Jack nodded in reply. "You said things were going well. How well?"

"Well, the three of us eat at least one meal a day together, we do things as a family - like going to the park - and Jake stays with me every Friday that I'm on earth. All her suggestions. And on Thursday, she sat on my knee and invited me to stay over. She made me share her bed," Jacob's eyebrows raised, "that was when she first kissed me. And last night, she stayed at mine. She asked for a beer, and stupidly I gave her two. I won't tell you what happened then."

"She try to seduce you?" Jacob asked, his eyebrows raising higher, as he laughed a little.

"How do you know all this stuff?" Jack asked in bewilderment as he turned on to Sam's street.

"I know my daughter and they way her messed up mind works. I've been dealing with it for the past four years, you've just been allowed in to it for the past five months," Jacob replied as Jack stopped the truck.

They both got out and walked up the path to Sam's door. Jack pulled out his keys on the way. Jacob raised his eyebrows again when he put the key in the lock and let them in.

"Sam's idea," he shrugged in response.

"I'm guessing Thomas was all Jake's idea?"

"Yeah," Jack said proudly as they walked into the living room to see Jake play with his trains on the floor at his mother's feet.

Sam was curled up on the chair, wrapped up in a blanket, watching Jake play with a far away look in her eyes while she chewed on her nails.

"GRANDPA!" Jake called as the two men entered the room. He jumped to his feet and ran at full speed into his Grandfather's waiting open arms.

"Hey there squirt. When did you get so big?"

"I eated all my veg-bles Grandpa," Jake laughed before he turned serious. "Mummy not well Grandpa. I been really good boy today for mummy."

"I know squirt. I've come to help," he said as he watched Jack walk up to his daughter, who then threw herself into the other man's arms and held on for dear life.

"Can Jake show Grandpa Jake's new train later? When Mummy's better?"

"Of course," he smiled at his beloved Grandson.

In a twisted way he was glad that Sam's antibiotics had messed with her birth control and that she had gotten pregnant after the assault. If she hadn't he knew she would be in a much worse place than she already was. Jake was the only bit of her life that was constant and it was only him that was holding her together.

There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't wish that his daughter wasn't on antibiotics at the time. Then she too would have drank the same drink as the three men on her team had. It probably wouldn't have messed with her birth control and she wouldn't have gotten pregnant. And like the three men on her team, she wouldn't have remembered what had happened.

But he loved his Grandson, and he wouldn't trade him for the world.

"I've managed to get you in to see MacKenzie tomorrow," he heard Jack say as he rubbed his daughter's back.

He saw her nod, and grip Jack's jacket tighter. He knew that the younger man loved his daughter, and had done for a long time. He also knew of Sam's conflicting feelings towards him.

As he held his scared Grandson to his chest, he was thankful, and not in the least bit surprised, that Jack had taken full responsibility for his actions that night and was trying to help his daughter in any way that he could. He knew that Jack would be there for her, no matter what she said or done to him.

He was glad that while he was away with the Tok'ra that someone was looking after his little girl. And that it was someone he trusted with his life.

He knew that Jack would be able to put her together again. Given time.

And he knew that Sam knew that too.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry for the delay on this guys. Mum and I took a rather impromptu trip to Germany to get away from everything for a few days. We both had a fantastic time. Thanks for all the reviews from the last chapter. Hope you all enjoy this one. I've already started on C9 so hopefully get that one out soon. I decided to try the Americanisms. Think the only one in this chap is Mommy. If you see anymore that I haven't realised, please let me know for future reference. Enjoy! **

8

Jacob woke early the next morning to a silent house. He looked at the clock on the bedside cabinet of the guest room of his daughter's house. 05:59 the red numbers glared. Heaving a sigh at his failure of spending time in a comfortable bed he threw back the duvet and got out of bed.

He had only gotten into bed five hours earlier. After putting an emotionally exhausted Jake to bed he had gone back to his daughters side, where he had stayed for the rest of the night with his arms wrapped around her as she talked openly and honestly and cried herself to sleep.

She had fallen asleep with her hand curled around his shirt. Not wanting to wake her from her peaceful slumber, he had carried her to bed, with Jack in front of him, holding the doors open.

He settled her on her bed and tried to gently pry her hand from his shirt. He watched as her face scrunched up in displeasure before looking at Jack for help.

Jack walked to the other side of the bed and crawled over to her, gently resting his hand on top of Sam's. she moaned softly in her sleep as her fingers slowly relaxed their grip on her father's shirt and then curled around Jack's own fingers, before she snuggled in closer to him.

Jacob nodded to Jack and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He changed in to some of his old clothes that Sam always kept for him before getting in to bed. Sleep didn't come easy to him that night. And what sleep he did get, was broken. He was too worried about his daughter to get any real rest.

Once out of bed, he headed towards the bathroom. He wanted, and needed, an earth shower. It was one of the things about earth, there was just something about a Tok'ra shower that didn't measure up to an earth shower. He relished the feel of the hot water on his skin.

He was walking back to his room when Jake's bedroom door opened to reveal the sleepy three-year-old. Jacob couldn't help but laugh to himself. Jake was just a miniature version of his pseudo-son-in-law.

Jake's brown hair was sticking up in every direction possible. He held on to Mickey's hand as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. His pj's were askew; some of the buttons on his top had come undone during the night and one of the legs had rolled up to his knee.

"Is Mommy better?" he yawned.

"Not yet buddy, but she will be," Jacob replied while taking one of his Grandson's hand and leading him to the stairs. "Are you hungry?"

"Uh-huh," Jake nodded in reply as they began to descend the stairs. "Can you make nana milk shake Grandpa?"

"And pancakes?" he asked as he picked Jake up set him on his hip, needing to hold him close. Jake nodded in to his shoulder as he held on tight.

Jacob set Jake on his chair in the kitchen as he set to work on breakfast.

"Grandpa?" Jake asked once his breakfast had been set in front of him.

"Yeah squirt?" he replied as he set Jake's banana milk shake by his pancakes.

"Can you stay forever?" he asked innocently.

"I wish I could squirt, but I need to go back to work in a few days," he sighed regretfully.

"Why?" Jake asked around a mouthful of pancake. Jacob looked at his grandson and laughed out loud. He had taken such a big bite of pancake some of it had started to escape his mouth, one hand held the next mouthful of pancake and the other held his tumbler of milkshake. His eyes were alive and bouncing with curiosity. While he looked like the double of his dad, he was all Sam.

For a minute Jacob forgot where he was as he looked at his grandson. Suddenly he felt over thirty years younger and saw Jake transform in to a little girl with curly blonde hair and big blue eyes. She looked at him, eyes full of wonder as she asked her favourite question: why?

Jacob shook himself out of his memory and tried to explain to his grandson that he had a job to do.

Once Jake had eaten his breakfast and had successfully made a mess of himself and the table, Jacob carried him up the stairs and gave him a bath.

They were both settled on the couch watching a Thomas movie that Jacob hadn't seen when Jack walked in to the living room. He smiled at the sight in front of him. His son was sitting on his Grandpa's knee telling him all about the blue engine.

"Morning," Jack yawned as he headed towards the kitchen to start the coffee.

"Morning," Jacob answered, eyes never leaving the little boy on his knee. "How's Sam this morning?"

"Seems to be okay, for now. She's having a shower," Jack replied as he sat down at the opposite side of the room. He knew how Sel'mak hated coffee.

"Did she sleep all night?"

"Never moved," Jack nodded.

"That's good, she's going to need her strength."

"Hey buddy," Jack addressed his son. Jake looked at him, his eyes still a little sleepy. "Uncle Daniel is coming over to play with you today, that sound like fun?"

Jake's eyes lit up with mischief, all traces of tiredness gone. He smiled the trademark O'Neill grin and Jack could see the plans of chaos and destruction already taking form in his sons head.

"Ah! You need to behave for Uncle Daniel. Or no Thomas, remember?" Jack held up his left index finger and pointed it towards his son.

Jake's face fell. He loved his Uncle Daniel, and he loved to push his luck with him because Uncle Daniel was the only one who would let him do anything he wanted, within reason. He knew his Uncle Daniel could be stern when he needed to be, but most of the time everything was allowed. He could misbehave as much as he wanted and Uncle Daniel would be okay with it. It was their secret.

Sam walked in to the living room then and sat down next to Jack and took the mug of coffee from his hand. She cradled it in between her own hands before taking a long sip and exhaling contentedly. Jack looked from his empty hand to his coffee mug to the mother of his child and back to his hand.

"I coulda sworn I made myself coffee this morning," he muttered to his empty hand, still in position of holding the mug.

Sam smiled innocently at him, hands never leaving the coffee mug as she pulled it closer to her chest, trying to hide it from view.

Jacob looked at them with a smile on his face. He could see and feel the love radiating between them. There was no awkwardness in their actions and it almost felt like the drug induced assault never happened. He had never seen Sam so comfortable for a long time and he knew that Jack was the reason for her being so at peace.

An hour later Daniel knocked on the door. Jack let him in. Daniel had just taken one step in to the house before Jake barrelled in to his legs, almost knocking him over.

"Wanna play trains Unca Daniel?" Jake asked as he hugged his uncle's legs.

"Sure," Daniel said enthusiastically. "Can I be Percy today?"

Jake took Daniel's hand and lead him in to the living room where he proceeded to tip all the train track out on to the floor and begin to sort through it.

"Uh-huh. And Gordon!"

Sam kissed Jake goodbye and thanked Daniel before leaving the house with her dad and Jack.

It wasn't until they got inside the mountain that she started to get nervous. She stood at the elevator door unable to move with a far away look in her eyes. Jack knew what she was thinking. He stood in front of her, taking her hands in his and looked deep in to her eyes. Seeing them filled with fear broke his heart.

"I will never let them take Jake away from you," he promised her quietly.

Sam nodded and squeezed his hands in thanks. She swallowed before letting go of one hand and walked to two steps in to the elevator to where her dad was holding the door open for them.

SJSJSJSJ

"You're going to be fine," Jacob said before he kissed his daughters head. They were standing outside of the room where Sam would be getting her therapy. MacKenzie hadn't turned up, but when Jack looked at his watch he saw they were nearly half an hour early.

Time dragged by. They sat in the seats outside the room with Sam in the middle. She held one of their hands in each of her own like she was trying to draw strength from them.

"Ah Doctor Carter!" MacKenzie greeted her as he walked around the corner and in to the hallway. "It's good to see you again, I just wish it was under better circumstances," he said as he held out his hand.

Sam let go of the men's hands and stood up. She shook the psychologists hand and managed a small smile.

"Shall we get started?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sam breathed. She turned to face her dad and hugged him tightly.

"You'll be fine," she whispered in her ear as he hugged her back.

"I know," she whispered back.

She pulled away from her dad and turned towards Jack. He took her in his arms and rubbed her back as he kissed her neck.

"I love you," he whispered only loud enough for her to hear.

"I love you too," she replied, her voice breaking slightly.

"If you need to punch me when you get out, just do it, don't hold back," he said, making her laugh.

"We'll be in the commissary when you get out," Jacob said as she started to follow MacKenzie in to the room.

SJSJSJSJ

"So you've let the anger take control?" he asked as he jotted down some notes.

"Yes," she replied as she grinded her hands together, ashamed. Something that hadn't escaped the psychologists attention.

"And you're on pills?"

"Yes."

"And how does the assault affect your daily life?" he asked as he looked at her.

"Nightmares mainly. Sometimes I get flashbacks during the day. And I have a voice in my head," she sighed, knowing that she had to be completely and brutally honest about everything.

"And how does that affect your son?" he asked in a way that scared Sam.

"It doesn't. I don't let it. He's the main thing that's holding me together," she insisted. There was no way she was letting him take her son away from her.

"Forgive me Doctor, but if you're hearing voices in your head, its not the safest environment for your son to be in. Frankly, I'm concerned for his safety. What if this gets worse and you hurt him?"


	9. Chapter 9

9

"You are not taking him away from me," she tried to sound threatening but wound up pleading instead. "And I only hear one voice. And it never tells me to do anything to Jake."

"But it tells you to do things?"

"No. It tells me that I'm stupid for letting Jack into his life and that he'll hurt me again. But it has never told me to hurt my son."

"You said you have nightmares? How bad do these get?"

"Sometimes I wake up physically sore. Sometimes I go in to a trance while I'm awake. I have the nightmares every night. I'm scared to go asleep," she said quietly, before a thought suddenly occurred to her. "But I haven't had nightmares for three nights now."

"Is that a normal occurrence?"

"No."

"Why do you think you haven't had nightmares?"

"Jack's been by my side the past three nights," she said, wondering what that meant.

"But he raped you while under the influence of alien drugs. Surely the nightmares would be worse if he was sleeping beside you."

"You'd think so," she mused.

"Okay, I need you to go back to that night again and tell me everything that happened and everything you felt."

Sam nodded mutely. She could already fell the tears welling up in her eyes. "We were invited to a party that night. We were all offered the local beverage. I was the only one who didn't drink any of mine. Jack drank mine. He said it tasted like fruit punch. We didn't know there was strong alcohol in it. Apparently humans can't handle the alcohol they drink, something to do with our genetics or something. We brought some back to test when we realised the others couldn't remember anything."

"So Colonel O'Neill had twice as much to drink as Dr. Jackson and Teal'c?"

"Yes."

"Continue," he said as he continued to make notes.

Sam felt her stomach clench in fear. Was he making recommendations to have her son taken away from her?

"We didn't realise to begin with that it had alcohol in it. It was only when Daniel said it reminded him of whisky and rum that we realised. By that point Teal'c had already drank his. He said he felt fine. So did Daniel once he had drank his. Everything was so relaxed. Teal'c wanted to learn the local dance so some of the villagers taught him. Daniel was convinced he could fly before he fell asleep."

"And Colonel O'Neill?"

"He seemed fine," she shrugged. "He was cracking jokes like he usually does then asked if I wanted to take a walk. He said he was getting stiff from sitting down for so long. So we went for a walk. After about ten minutes he stopped and smiled at me."

_/flashback/_

"_Hey Carter,__"__ he said while tapping her on the shoulder._

"_Yes Sir?__"__ she asked as she turned to face him._

"_What do ya say we go for a little walk? All this sitting around on logs is making me kinda stiff. Need to stretch the legs for a bit.__"_

"_Sure,__"__ she smiled as she stood up and grabbed his offered hands to pull him to his feet. __"__Which way?__"_

"_Wasn__'__t there a nice lake in that direction?__"__ he pointed behind them with his thumb._

"_Yeah about twenty minutes away,__"__ she answered while nodding her head._

"_Teal__'__c!__"__ he called to his dancing friend. __"__Taking a walk!__"__ he turned to Sam and laughed. __"__Daniel__'__s sleeping already.__"_

_They walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he started cracking jokes to make her laugh. He loved being able to make her laugh. He loved the sound and the way her face lit up. And knowing that he had made that happen._

_A few minutes later he abruptly stopped._

"_Sir? Are you alright?__"__ she asked, concerned._

"_Yeah,__"__ he smiled at her, before taking a step towards her and boldly took one of her hands in his. __"__Little unsteady, mind if I hold on?__"_

"_Not at all,__"__ she laughed at him._

_They continued to walk and joke. The further they got from camp, the bolder Jack became. He let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her waist. She looked at him questioningly and suggested they head back to camp. He waved her off._

"_I__'__m fine Carter,__"__ he said while waving a hand in the air. __"__Just need you to keep me upright. That stuff__'__s stronger than it tastes.__"_

"_Are you sure?__"__ she asked, worry lacing her voice._

_He turned to face her, resting both of his hands on her hips. __"__You__'__re so pretty,__"__ he breathed, slurring slightly._

"_You__'__re drunk,__"__ she laughed._

"_I__'__m not that drunk!__"__ he tried to say without slurring. And failed._

"_Yes you are,__"__ she couldn__'__t help but smile at him._

"_Sam?__"__ he asked as one of his hands left her hip and cupped her cheek. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise. __"__Can I kiss you?__"_

"_I don__'__t think that would be a good idea Sir,__"__ she whispered while looking towards the stone covered ground._

"_Why not? Its just the two of us here. No one would know,__"__ he said as he inched his face closer to hers._

"_Things could get awkward Sir,__"__ she said as his lips came closer to her own with every word. She could feel herself get drunk on the fumes of his breath._

"_Just one? Please?__"__ he asked when there was just the slightest gap between them._

"_I__…"_

"_Sam?__"_

_She swallowed hard. She knew that whatever she decided to do, his lips would touch hers. He was too close to avoid it. She nodded slightly, feeling his lips against hers with the movement._

_Softly, he kissed her. His lips against her own. Gently his tongue traced her lips and, against her better judgement, she granted him access._

_Never in her life had she been kissed the way he kissed her. Never had she felt more loved, wanted, needed. It was like nothing she had experienced before, and she knew that no one would ever measure up to Jack O__'__Neill._

_She looked into his eyes after pulling away slightly and saw that for once, they weren__'__t guarded. She could see every emotion in his eyes. She could feel the love he had for her burning her skin with his touch. Never before had she seen him more at peace._

_He smirked at her. In return she smiled at him. His smile._

_The hand resting on her hip slowly made its way to her belt and began to undo it. The soldier in Sam returned in a heartbeat. She took at step back._

"_Sir?__"__ she asked, wondering what the hell it was that they were doing._

"_Carter?__"__ he asked in reply while taking a step towards her and reaching out for her jacket._

"_What are you doing?__"__ she asked as she took another step back while he managed to grip her jacket in his hand and pull her towards him._

"_Continuing,__"__ he replied as if the answer should have been obvious._

"_No, Sir, we can__'__t.__"_

"_Sure we can,__"__ he said as he managed to get her jacket off her struggling form. __"__No one has to know. We both know that we both want this.__"_

_He laced his index fingers through her belt loops and pulled her to him. _

"_No,__"__ she said as he snaked one arm tightly around her waist and held her in place while he undone her belt, button and zipper. She continued to struggle against him, all the while knowing that she wasn__'__t strong enough to push him off. _

_She hoped like hell he would pass out sooner rather than later._

_Her hopes were in vain._

_He pushed her to the ground and grabbed her hands and held them above her head. Manoeuvring himself so he was in a better position he grabbed both her wrists in one hand and held on tightly. _

"_Sir, please, don__'__t do this,__"__ she begged as tears began to sting her eyes._

"_I want to make love to you Sam,__"__ he told her as he undone his own belt and opened his pants, tugging them down. _

"_Colonel, please, no, please stop,__"__ tears fell freely down her face as she uselessly struggled against him. He had managed to tug down her pants and was drinking in the sight of her._

"_Don__'__t you want me to make love to you Sam?__"__ he asked as he began his assault._

_She tried not to scream. She was torn about what to do. Should she scream and hope that someone would find them and make him stop? Or should she stay as quiet as possible? She knew, deep down, that he had been drugged and wasn__'__t in control of his actions and that it would be unfair to punish him. But she was being raped! How could he do that to her?_

_In the end her choice was taken away from her. He held a hand over her mouth, muffling her cries. She knew her face would be bruised come morning._

"_Oh God, Sam,__"__ he whispered in her ear._

_He actually thought he was making love to her? How could she get it through his drug infected mind that he was actually raping her? She couldn__'__t free her hands from his grip; all her words and screams were muffled by his hand and her legs were trapped by his. She was totally immobile. There was nothing she could do but let the tears fall freely down her face._

_Never in her life had she felt so violated and angry. For the most part she wasn__'__t angry at him. She was angry at the situation. She knew he wasn__'__t in control. And she knew, come morning, if he remembered, he would die inside with guilt._

_He kissed her neck as he moved off her, his hands leaving her mouth and wrists._

_She pulled up her underwear and pants as soon as he was off. Blindly she searched for her jacket; her eyes never leaving him. Eventually after what felt like hours of searching, she found it. Holding it to her chest she pushed herself along the stone covered ground so she was farther away from him._

_He held out his hand to her. She shook her head._

"_Come one Sam, let__'__s head back to camp,__"__ he said, still holding his hand out._

"_I__'__d like to be alone for a little while,__"__ she said, her voice shaking._

_He continued to look at her for a few moments before he nodded and dropped his hand. __"__Don__'__t stay too long, its cold out,__"__ he said before staggering away from her in the direction of camp._

_Unable to stand up from where she was sat on the ground, Sam began checking herself out for injuries._

_Both her hands were cut from the rocks and nasty bruises were already forming on her wrists and arms from where he had pinned her to the ground. She could tell her bruises would resemble his fingers and palm. Her mouth and jaw ached from where he had covered them. The base of her head already had a dull throb which she knew was going to get very painful very quickly. She wondered if she would half to crawl her way back to camp__…__ then wondered if she would even be able to do that._

_Her back hurt but she knew nothing was broken. It would be bruised at the very worst. She looked down to between her legs and prepared herself for the worst. Blood soaked her pants. With her high tolerance for pain she hadn__'__t realised how rough he had been. _

_Anger and betrayal hit her like a sledgehammer. How could she ever look at him again?_

_She was thankful of the clean clothes in her pack. She just had to get to them before anyone saw the mess that she was in._

_How was she going to explain her injuries to Janet?_

_Somehow she managed to get back to camp. She had no idea how. Had she walked? Crawled? Quietly she changed in to her clean clothes and cleaned herself as best she could._

_The three male members of her team were sleeping. Oblivious to what had happened._

_She lay down and curled up in to a ball. She knew she would get no sleep that night._

_Would he remember what he had done to her? She couldn__'__t decided if she wanted him to or not._

_Morning came and Sam lay awake still curled in on herself. She heard the three men groan as they awakened._

"_Can anyone remember what happened last night?__"__ Daniel asked, sounding as though he was going to be sick._

"_No,__"__ came Teal__'__c__'__s unsettling reply. __"__This is most uncomfortable.__"_

"_Why can__'__t I remember anything after getting here?__"__ Jack asked, while gingerly sitting up and looking at his team. His eyes fell on Carter. __"__You alright there Carter? You look sick.__"_

"_Fine Sir,__"__ she lied quietly._

_/end flashback/_


	10. Chapter 10

10

"I took some time off when we got back. I didn't see my team at all in that time. I avoided them. I spoke to General Hammond the day after we got back and told him everything. I said I didn't want to press any charges because Jack couldn't remember anything and I didn't want him to get punished for something he couldn't remember. And I hoped after my few weeks leave that I'd be able to face him again.

"I went on a mission with them that week, it was awful. It was supposed to be peaceful negotiations_._ It ended up being a battle with a squadron of Jaffa. We lost a few people that day. The next day I realised I was late. I went home and took, I don't remember how many, tests. They all came back positive. I cried myself to sleep that night.

"I went to General Hammond again the next day and told him I was pregnant and that I had to leave. I couldn't bear to be there any longer. He understood and made arrangements. I went to my brother and he let me stay."

"Did you try to talk to Colonel O'Neill?"

"Yes, and he didn't want to hear anything I had to say. Or anyone else for that matter. So I left without saying goodbye. I tried calling him on important days, like my scans, when I went in to labour, when he was born, his birthdays, the day he started crawling… but every time he picked up I panicked and put the phone down."

"What made you tell him?"

"Jake noticed all the other children had fathers but he didn't. He asked about it. I felt bad. I spoke to dad and asked him what he thought. He'd been trying to get me to tell Jack from the beginning. I just couldn't do it. And I hate myself for it. But, eventually, I worked up the courage. And in the beginning it was hard. Things were said that I can't take back. I didn't mean most of it.

"He says there was nothing to forgive. It was the anger about the situation coming out of the locked room in my head. I just… don't want to be angry anymore. But I know that a part of me always will be."

"I take it things are going well between the two of you?"

"Yes."

"And your father approves?"

"Yes, he was the one who asked me to give Jack a chance."

"Despite what he did to you?"

"He was drugged," Sam said, starting to get annoyed. The whole thing was starting to sound like an interrogation. And she wasn't above just walking out.

"Do you still feel a lot of anger to the situation?"

God they were going around in circles.

"Yes," she sighed.

"Have you done anything to vent the anger?"

"What do you mean?"

"Some people tend to hurt themselves," he explained.

"Are you trying to ask me if I've cut myself on purpose?"

"That's one way of looking at it," he motioned towards her.

"No, I have never cut myself, I've never tried to overdose, I've never starved myself, and I've never taken any drugs that weren't prescribed to me."

"Have you ever tried exercising the anger away?"

"Yes, but it didn't go well. I was scared to leave Jake with anyone for any amount of time."

"But you're able to leave him now?"

"Yes, most of the time I can do it without feeling guilty."

"Ok. I'd like to suggest something to you," he said, leaning forwards so his elbows were on his knees.

"What's that?"

"Whenever you feel the anger taking hold, go to the gym and pretend the punching bag is to blame. Or go for a run. Whichever makes you feel better. I just don't understand, as an ex-air force officer, you haven't tried that before."

"I did, in the beginning. But for some reason I got it into my head that it would be bad for the baby. I don't know where that came from, but I wasn't willing to do anything that would harm my baby. I was scared that too much exercise would make me lose him."

He nodded like he understood, but Sam knew that he would never understand.

"Try it. See if it helps any. I'd like to see you again next week," he said as he stood up and put his notes on the desk beside him.

Sam stood up and shook his offered hand.

Slowly she left the room and wrapped her arms around herself as she walked down the hall. She knew she couldn't face Jack right away, her memories were too vivid and her fear too raw. She had to stall.

Stopping abruptly she looked around then made her way to the locker rooms.

Ten minutes later she was standing in front of a punching bag in one of the gyms. She hadn't bothered to strap her hands. Roughly she pulled back her hair into a high ponytail and wiped her sweaty hands on her gym pants.

Curling her fists into tight balls she took a deep breath and punched the bag as hard as she could. Bearable pain shot up her hands, through her wrists and into her arms.

She felt some of the built up anger dissipate with the first punch. It felt good to finally vent her anger and frustrations. She hit the bag again and again. It started to swing slightly with the sheer amount of force she was putting into each punch.

She didn't know how long she was in there beating the bag when Jack finally pulled her away, gently encasing her wrists in his hands. It wasn't until she was off the mat and pushed down on to the bench that she realised that she was crying and that her knuckles were bleeding.

How had she not noticed that?

She laughed cruelly at herself. She still had a high tolerance for pain after all those years.

"I told you that you could punch me, what did that bag do to deserve that?" he tried to joke as he looked at her knuckles.

She winced as he touched her broken skin.

"I never heard you come in," she stated in a whisper, while watching him examine her knuckles.

"No?" he laughed. "Never would have guessed that. You were beating the crap out of that thing. Dad and I decided to look for you about ten minutes ago. How long have you been in here?" he looked up in to her eyes.

"I don't know," she said as she looked away, ashamed. "I came here after therapy was over."

"MacKenzie said you left over forty minutes ago. Have you been in here punching that bag since then?" he asked as he tilted her face so she would look at him again.

"I couldn't be around you when I got out. I can't hurt you anymore…"

"You've hurt yourself. How is that any better?"

"I don't want you to hate me."

"Sam… I could never hate you. Not even when we had those spectacular fallouts five months ago."

"You could start…"

"Never," he said while shaking his head, his eyes never leaving hers. "I will always love you."

Sam laughed through her tears. "Even when I tear my hands to shreds and my face is all puffy?"

"Even then," he smiled while tucking some loose hair behind her ear. "You wanna go home?"

"Yeah," she nodded as Jacob walked in to the room.

Jack helped her to her feet and once again examined her knuckles as Jacob walked over.

"Sam, what did you do?" he asked as he took one of her hands from Jack.

"Got a little carried away," she said light heartedly.

"No kidding," he said as he turned her hand over in his. "Want me to heal that for you?"

Sam canted her head to the side and smiled at her father and nodded. She knew she could go home and let Jake see her ruined hands. How was she meant to take care of him properly?

Jacob lead them to the infirmary and motioned for Sam to sit on a bed. A few minutes later her knuckles were healed.

"I'll just go for a shower…," Sam said as she jumped off the bed and started to walk out of the room.

She couldn't help but overhear part of the conversation between two of the most important men in her life.

"I'm really worried about her Jacob," Jack said quietly.

"So am I," her father replied.

Sam felt her heart sink into her stomach. She really wished she wasn't the cause of so much worry.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I would just like to say thank you for all the reviews. They make my day when I see them in my inbox. **

**This story has certainly taken on a life of its own. Its taking me for quiet a ride, I don't know about you! When I first started writing this part of Sam's Return, I honestly hadn't thought past the first chapter. I had loads of idea's 4 years ago, but not the time. And over time they all went out of my head.**

**This chapter takes things in a whole new direction and I don't know if I like it or not. And I have no idea how all of you will react to it. If you don't like it, tell me, and I'll change it.**

**And to my guest reviewer Nia, I just LOVED your review - and I believe you may be psychic. I actually had this part written before I read your review - believe it or not.**

**Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. Should I change it? Or go with it? Or do both and have 2 versions of this story?**

11

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked Jack in a whisper while her dad was putting her son to bed. She was pressed up against him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Of course," he whispered back as he smiled and ran a hand over her hair. With his free hand he tilted her face towards his before leaning down to kiss her.

Sam felt her eyes flutter as they closed. Jack O'Neill's kiss was definitely something she could get used to. She smiled against his lips.

"When are you two gonna give it a rest?" Jacob asked, laughing from the doorway.

"You want another grandchild, don't you dad?" Sam asked as she turned to face him with her eyebrows raised. She laughed at the expression that appeared on his face. His eyes were wide and his jaw hung slack.

"Sam," he warned while regaining some of his composure.

"Later," she laughed as she detangled herself from an equally shocked looking Jack. She walked to her dad and gave him a hug before walking into the kitchen. She still had her pill to take.

She poured herself a glass of water and set it down on the counter. She could sense someone in the room with her, even though she couldn't hear them. Her packet of anti-depressants appeared at the side of her face. She smiled as she took them and pushed one out of the plastic and foil.

"Thanks Jack," she said as she popped it in her mouth. Taking a big gulp of water she swallowed it. She really hopped that she wouldn't need them for much longer. But after having to relive that awful night earlier that day, she was thankful of that little pill.

He wrapped his arms around her waist from where he was behind her and buried his face in her neck. He inhaled deeply before softly kissing her, leaving a trail of soft kisses from the bottom of her neck to the sensitive spot under her ear.

"Were you serious?" he whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

"About what?"

"About giving dad another grandchild," he replied.

She turned around in his arms to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "We've spoken about this," she smiled at him.

"Nothing serious though," he protested lightly.

"I would love another child, when the time is right," she nodded.

"With me?" he asked, his voice full of hope but with a hint of understanding that she might not be able to do that.

"Who else? I can't imagine anyone else being the father of my children."

"God, I love you," he said before capturing her lips with his again.

SJSJSJSJ

"I cleared a drawer out," Sam announced when she was curled around Jack in bed that night.

"A drawer?" he asked, slightly confused.

"For some of your stuff. You're here so often….. You should have a drawer," she said, a little unsure if she had done the right thing.

"Seriously? I get my own drawer?" he asked as he ran a hand up and down her side, dipping in and out of her curves. God, he loved her curves. And that he was allowed to touch them.

"If you want it."

"Damn, this is getting serious! How do I escape?" he joked. She playfully swatted his chest.

"Very funny," she said.

"I would love the drawer. Thank you," he kissed her head and ran his hand down her side again, making her snuggle closer. Then pull away.

He looked at her, with a confused look on his face as she pulled away from his side. She placed her hands on his shoulders pushing him down, even though he was already on his back, and straddled his hips. His hands automatically went to her hips.

She leaned down and kissed him while pressing herself closer to him and moving her hands to cup his head. Softly she ground her hips into his.

"Sam," he moaned. "You have to stop doing this. I don't know how much longer I can say no."

"I don't want you to say no."

"Dad's in the room across the hall," he said as he tried to tear his hands away from her hips.

"So we'll be quiet," she said as she kissed his neck.

"This is a really bad idea Sam," he breathed as she continued to kiss him, moving further down his chest.

"Making love to me is a really bad idea?" she asked as she sat up and began to move off of him.

He sat up and grabbed her wrists and held her in place with his gaze. "No. Making love to you sounds like a really good idea. But not right now. You're not ready. I need you to be ready. I don't want you regretting it."

"I feel ready," she whispered as she looked at his chest.

"You want to feel ready. There's a huge difference Sam. You can't rush this."

Sam responded by grinding her hips against his again. His head fell against her shoulder as he managed to stifle a groan. The last thing he needed was for Jacob to hear.

"I've wanted to do this for a long time Jack. To feel normal again. I want my life back."

"I'm not disputing that. It's just… dad's across the hall. I really don't want or need him kicking my ass!"

"Please Jack?" she begged as she freed her wrists and tangled one hand in his short hair and ran the other up and down his back.

"You really are gonna be the death of me," he said as he pulled her closer and hungrily kissed her neck. "But Sam, I have to say no," he sighed regretfully.

"What?"

"No Sam. Lie down and go to sleep," he said as he gently began to move her off of him.

"Are you being serious?" she almost cried as she landed on her side of the bed.

"Very serious," he said while wincing at her glare. "Its too soon!" he tried to reason.

"Its been four years!"

"You only started on this touchy feely stuff three days ago and its been pretty full on. You're not ready for sex."

"I'm not a child!" she shouted. Jack ran a hand over his face. "You're not my CO anymore. You cant tell me what to do whenever you feel like it!"

Jacob rushed into the room. "What's going on? Are you trying to wake Jake up?"

"He won't give me what I want!" Sam cried as she threw back the duvet and got out of bed.

"And what is it that you want?" he asked as he put his hands on her bare arms.

"He says he loves me," she pointed to Jack, sitting under the duvet. "But he wont _make_ love to me!"

"I'm never going to be ready for this conversation," Jacob muttered as he let go of Sam's arms and roughly rubbed his face. "Jack?"

"I have no idea," he shrugged.

"What is so hard to understand?! He says he loves me but he wont show me that he does."

"Sam its been three days!" Jack whined from his spot on the bed.

"I don't care! I'm ready for this!"

"After today? I very much doubt that Sam," Jacob shook his head.

"I'm not a little girl anymore dad! If I want to have sex I will, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" she folded her arms across her chest and sighed.

"Sam?" her father asked her, his voice full of confusion.

"What?" she snapped.

"What is going on in that head of yours? You've never spoken to me like this before. Why are you acting like a spoiled child?" he looked over at Jack to see the younger man getting out of bed and pulling on a t-shirt.

Sam looked between the two men in the room with her and gulped. They were planning something. She knew it.

"I am not," she protested.

"Yes, you are. The Sam I know would never discuss sex like this in front of me."

"The Sam I know wouldn't sink to this level," Jack said after he had pulled on his pants and started to walk towards her.

"Things change," she shrugged as she took a step away from Jack's advancing form.

"Not Sam, not like this," he said as he took another step towards her.

"How would you know that? Trauma affects everyone differently," she now had her back pressed against the wall.

"My Sam has been through a lot over the years, things much worse than this, and she turned out just fine."

"A build up of trauma is bound to take its toll sometime," she tried to defend herself.

Jack stood directly in front of her and held her in place with her arm over her throat. A lot of pieces in head began to fit into place. Suddenly it clicked. The woman in front of him was not the Samantha Carter he knew. She was an impostor.

"Where is she?" he growled at her, his face threateningly close to hers.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I would just like to say thank you to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. I'm a little overwhelmed at the response. Hopefully this will clear things up for you! And a huge thanks to Mary for showing huge interest in this! Sorry for not emailing you back, it seems my email is playing silly buggers again!**

**And remember, if you don't like this, please let me know and I'll rework it.**

**Please review! They make my day!**

12

"I'm right here in front of you Jack!"

"You are not Sam!" he seethed.

"Yes I am!"

"How long have you been pretending to be her?"

"What are you talking about?! I am Sam!"

"Stop lying to me!" he pushed his arm in to her neck to stop her trying to break free and to hopefully scare her a little.

"I'm not lying! Jack, please believe me, I am your Sam," she looked deep into his eyes and he could feel his resolve fading. Was this his Sam?

"I don't believe you," he said before looking over at Jacob, who looked extremely torn.

"Jack…" she begged. "You're hurting me. Let me go."

"Not until you tell me who you are!" he demanded as he gripped her face in his free hand, forcing her to look at him.

"J'koran, please… don't do this," she whispered, as her eyes clouded over.

"Did she just call me J'koran?" he asked Jacob.

"Yes," the older man replied. "Who's J'koran?"

"I have no idea," he said before pinching her face tighter and shaking her out of her trance. She looked at him with frightened eyes.

"Please don't hurt me," she begged.

"Who's J'koran?"

"Please you don't understand! You cant send me back. He'll kill me!"

"Who'll kill you?" Jacob asked.

"J'koran. Please don't send me back."

"Who are you?"

She averted her gaze. She knew she had been found out.

"How long have you been pretending to be my daughter?"

Tears fell from her eyes. She had been doing so well pretending to be the other woman.

"Not long enough," she admitted, looking Jack in the eye again.

"HOW LONG?"

"The whole time," she answered cryptically, glaring at him.

Jack pushed her harder into the wall. "Jake isn't mine, is he?"

"Yes, he is. He's human. When I took this form my DNA changed to match hers. Do as many tests as you like on either of us. Nothing abnormal will show up. For all intents and purposes I am Samantha Carter."

"So I…"

"Yes. You raped me. Not your precious Sam."

"Where is she?!"

"Where I left her," she spat.

"And where was that?" he demanded, his patience wearing extremely thin.

"On the planet you call P7X 913."

"She's been on that planet for four years?!" Jacob almost screamed. "Why hasn't she tried to get home?"

"No GDO, no radio and I doubt she'd be able to get away from him. When I took this form I changed her to me. We posses each others memories up until the point where we changed."

"How have you managed to look like her everyday?"

"I take pills," she answered honestly.

"The anti-depressants?"

"No. Different ones. I take them every morning. If I don't we both change back."

"Why would you do that?"

"My husband was abusive, I had to escape."

"That society wasn't as technologically advanced as we were. How the hell have you pulled this off?"

"When you get desperate, you find ways."

"Why Sam?"

"She was the first female to visit my planet since I can remember. I had to take the opportunity when I could."

"So you left Sam with your abusive husband? How could you do that someone?"

"He was going to kill me!"

"My Sam could be dead?" Jacob asked, his voice dying and full of guilt.

"She's not dead. We're linked. I would know if she was. She torments me."

"She's the voice in your head?" Jack asked as he removed his arm from her throat and took a step back.

"Yes. Somehow she's managed to form a link strong enough to speak to me," she watched the hurt cross Jack's face.

"Sam said those horrible things about me?"

"Only because she hoped to stop me from what I was doing. In the hope that I would let her back here. She didn't mean any of the things she said about you. I know that now."

"She knows about Jake?" Jacob muttered to his feet, still trying to process the information and to stop himself from seriously hurting the woman who had taken his daughter away from him.

"Yes."

"Why were you so insistent on sleeping with me?" Jack asked, curiously.

"It would make the change permanent," she whispered.

"You are a seriously twisted person," Jack spat at her as he grabbed her arm and dragged her from the room.

"Where are you taking me?" she cried, fear turning her cold.

"Back to the mountain. You're going back to where you belong."

"No, please, you can't."

"Oh but I can. And I will. You had NO RIGHT to condemn Sam to a life with your abusive husband!" he paused at the top of the stairs. "Would he…"

"No. He would do a lot of things, but he would never rape her. At worst, he would beat her."

Once he was at the bottom of the stairs he shoved his feet into his shoes and grabbed his keys that lay on the table by the door.

"Jack!" Jacob called from the top of the stairs, where he stood with a sleeping Jake in his arms. "We're coming too."

Jack nodded and opened the door. He tightened his grip on the fake Sam's arm and hauled her to his truck then roughly shoved her into the passengers seat. He turned on the ignition as Jacob strapped Jake into his car seat.

Once Jake was safely secured he swung out of Sam's drive and raced to the mountain. The quicker he got Sam back the better. He couldn't believe that he had been so stupid. How could he not have realised that the scared woman beside him wasn't Sam?

He felt awful. After working with her for so many years, how could he not tell the difference, even with the time she had spent avoiding him?

He only hoped that they would get Sam back and that she would forgive him for being so stupid.

They arrived at the mountain quicker than he had thought possible. He knew he had broken every speed limit to get there. Guilt washed over him when he remembered that Jake was in the truck too.

He pushed the guilt down, he would deal with it later. He had more important things to do. He had to get Sam back.

She tried to stay in the cab of the truck, but Jack reached in and grabbed her. In one fluid motion he had her out of the cab and over his shoulder.

He thanked whatever God was out there that it was the middle of the night and only the skeleton crew remained. It meant he had a lot less explaining to do.

"Jack?" came Daniel's surprised voice as they met in one of the deserted corridors. "What's going on?"

"Things aren't what they seem Daniel. It appears that some woman decided to swap places with Sam and condemn her to an abusive husband. THIS is going back to where she came from."

"What?" Daniel asked, confused. It was late and he hadn't had coffee for a few hours.

"We left her behind Daniel. Four years ago. We have to get her back."

Together they walked to the locker room and got changed. Jack wasn't taking any chances, he would go in all guns blazing if he had to. He would do anything necessary to get Sam back to where she belonged.

Jacob held onto fake Sam while the two other men got ready. He knew he would have to stay on Earth with Jake. He refused to leave the little boy alone, scared that he would wake up without a familiar face beside him.

He knew that Jack would not come home without his daughter.

She knew that bruises were already forming on her throat and arm, and knew that they were going to get a lot worse before they got better.

She tried to free herself from Jack's grip as they walked towards the Stargate. He gripped her tighter before once again throwing her over his shoulder. Her punches to his back went unnoticed. He was on auto-pilot.

Jacob was in the control room dialling the co-ordinates, Jake still asleep in his arms, when Jack and Daniel walked into the Gate room. The doors on the other side of the room opened and both men turned to see Teal'c - fully kitted up and ready to go - walk towards them.

"Jacob Carter informed me of the situation," he said as he stood stoically beside them. Jack nodded.

Once the wormhole had engaged, all three men ran up the ramp and through the event horizon.

Once on the other side, they walked as fast as they could towards the settlement. Jack remembered that it was an hours walk away and didn't relish the fact they had an unwilling party with them.

One look at Teal'c saved him from asking the question. Teal'c reached over and took fake Sam from his shoulders and put her over his own. None of the men felt bad about the woman only wearing a nightgown in the cold night.

As far as Jack was concerned, she deserved the uncomfortable conditions.

After what seemed like years to all three men, and Jack making sure they fully understood the situation, they arrived at the settlement. It looked exactly like they remembered it.

Jack pulled the woman off of Teal'c's shoulders and held onto her arms tightly.

"Where?" he demanded.

"Please," she begged.

"Where?" he fumed as he gripped her tighter, causing her to wince in pain. Tears fell down her face as she pointed towards the building almost hidden from view at the end of a narrow alleyway.

"Move," he pushed her towards the alleyway. She stumbled and fell to her knees. Grabbing her elbow he dragged her to her feet.

"Please don't do this," she cried as they moved forwards.

"This is the least you deserve. Believe me when I say you're getting off very lightly for now."

Jack pounded on the door of the building before barging in. Several women screamed. He couldn't believe his eyes. He turned to the woman he held at his side.

"Is this a whore house?" he asked, sincerely hoping that it wasn't. The look on her face as she looked to the floor confirmed that it was.

"J'koran! J'koran!" one of the women shouted, her voice full of fear.

A tall man with well built muscles appeared at the top of the staircase to the right. His dark hair fell to his shoulders, his face menacing. A scar ran from his right eye to his chin, his arms covered in tattoo's.

"Well this could get interesting," Jack whispered to his team mates.

"What is the meaning of this?" J'koran bellowed.

"It seems we have something that belongs to you. And you have something that belongs to us," he said as he pushed fake Sam out in front of him.

A short plump woman with matted black hair and scared skin appeared at J'koran's side. Her eyes widened at the scene in front of her.

"Jack?" she whispered.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Woah! Thanks for all the reviews guys! They made me smile!**

**And check this out! An almost 7 pager! I'm impressed, I must say! Usually its 5... Or less.… I haven't written a chapter this long since….. 2008 when I wrote Don't Let Go.**

**Although I have to be honest… this is the last chapter! *cries* I've had so much fun writing this and I would like to thank all of you who have read, followed and reviewed this segment of Sam's Return. Very much appreciated!**

**And as I was reading through this story earlier I noticed a few missing words and grammar errors etc so I'll be going back and editing bits that need done… just so you know! The errors are really starting to bug me… the joys of wanting to get each chapter out as quick as possible and no beta…**

**I hope to have another story on the go soon, but we'll see!**

**Please review! I love you all.**

13

"Sam?" I whispered as I took a step towards the stairs. I watched as she took a step towards me before J'koran grabbed her hair and hauled her back.

"You are mistaken. I have nothing of yours. And you nothing of mine," he said distastefully as he pulled the woman behind him.

"This," Jack called as he grabbed on to fake Sam's arm and pushing her forward again. "Is your wife. She found a way to disguise herself to get away from you. That woman behind you is a member of my team. And I need her back."

"Impossible!"

"I'm sure that she tried to explain it to you?"

"Lies!"

"Truth actually," Jack said as he took another step towards the stairs, his hand still wrapped around the impostors arm in a tight grip. "I'm sure you've noticed differences?"

"No," he said firmly while looking down his nose at Jack.

"She's confessed everything," he tilted his head towards fake Sam. "Said that you were going to kill her, so she found a way to leave. Something must have changed if your 'wife' is still alive. Surely if you wanted your wife dead, she wouldn't be standing behind you."

"I don't believe you," he stated while shoving his 'wife' away with enough force to send her crashing in to the wall behind them.

"I think you do," Jack said simply. "I think you know exactly what is going on. I'm sure Sam didn't stop explaining it until you did understand," he gestured to the small woman behind him.

"Leave," J'koran said as he gripped the banister in front of him so hard his knuckles turned white, and his face grew red.

"Not until I get my team member back," Jack ground out.

"Your team member, is not here!" J'koran shouted at him.

"You want to play dumb? Fine. We'll wait till morning and prove to you that _this_ is your wife, and the woman behind you isn't."

Jack watched as J'koran's face turned slightly panicked in his rage. He knew the woman behind him wasn't his wife, but was loathe to give her up. Jack knew it was impossible to meet Samantha Carter and not fall head over heels in love with her.

"She belongs to me," he growled.

"Actually," Jack said holding up one finger. "She belongs to no one. And I know for a fact that she would _love_ to kick you ass, right now, for saying that."

"Leave," he repeated, pushing himself away from the banister and making his way to the top of the stairs.

"Not until I get my team member back," Jack repeated, emphasizing every word.

Jack stood his ground and tightened his grip on the woman at his side, who he realised was too scared to move. His eyes bore holes into J'koran's head. There was no way that he was leaving Sam behind; again.

J'koran slowly made his way over to where Jack stood. It wasn't until he was mere steps away that Jack realised how big the other man actually was. Jack knew he was a tall man, standing at nearly 6ft 2inches, but somehow felt small when J'koran walked up to him. Jack had to look up to see anything other than the other man's chest.

Jack gulped at the sheer size of the man. He didn't dare look at his two friends behind him. He knew as soon as he looked away J'koran would strike him down.

"This," he spat while taking fake Sam's free arm into his large hand. "Is not Mislan. That," he pointed to the short woman standing at the top of the stairs. "Is Mislan."

"Ah Mislan, is it. Well, J'koran, as I'm sure you are aware, that," he pointed towards the woman now walking down the stairs, "Is not Mislan. Her name is Sam. And I need to take her home. She has a son waiting for her." He watched 'Mislan's' eyes widen then look to the floor. He knew she was thinking about all the time she had missed out on.

"I do not believe you," he said as fake Sam whimpered in pain. "Now take your woman and leave this place," he pushed her away from him with enough force that she fell to the ground. Jack had to let go of her arm to keep himself upright.

"J'koran please," the black haired woman pleaded.

"Silence!" he shouted at her, half turning to face her. Jack could see the fear in his eyes.

"You have to let me go home," she continued.

"THIS is your home!"

"No."

"I said SILENCE!" he yelled at her when she was only a step away, raising his hand and backhanded her across the face, sending her to the floor.

"HEY!" Jack shouted at him. He could sense Daniel and Teal'c moving closer and held up his hand to stop them. He could feel their restlessness. He knew they wanted to do something.

"J'koran… please let me go home," the real Sam begged from where she lay on the floor, a few tears escaping her eyes. She could already feel her face begin to swell.

"You belong HERE!"

"Ah so you do know she isn't actually your wife!" Jack taunted from a few steps away.

"She is mine. She belongs to me. She belongs here!" Jack could see the veins in his head and on his neck bulging underneath his skin.

"You promised," Sam whispered from the floor. Jack watched as J'koran's face fell. "You promised that if they came for me you would let me go. J'koran, I have a son. He needs me. I would never ask you to give up your girls."

"You have daughters?" Jack spat at Mislan as Sam. "And you left them here to save your own ass? You don't deserve children!"

"You cannot leave me!" J'koran said softly as he help Sam as Mislan from the floor.

"J'koran…"

"This isn't happening," he insisted. "This is a nightmare. I know it."

"I'm sorry," Sam as Mislan answered. "It's very real. You have to let me go."

"I cannot," he said as he held her face between his hands.

"O'Neill," Teal'c spoke for the first time. "It is almost sunrise."

"Whatever is going to happen is going to happen soon," Daniel joined in.

"You know that once that sun rises and they change back to who their meant to be, you have to let her go, right?" Jack asked, knowing exactly what J'koran was feeling.

One of the worst things Jack O'Neill had felt in his entire life was losing Samantha Carter.

J'koran let go of Sam's face and picked her up so she was at the same level as him and embraced her tightly.

"I do not wish you to leave me Samantha Carter," he said, only just loud enough for the whole room to hear.

Jack's heart sank when he realised just how much J'koran loved her.

Once he had set her back on her feet he turned to glare at the woman who was truly his wife.

"You disgust me," he spat venomously. She flinched and tried to make herself as small as possible where she stood. She looked around. Daniel and Teal'c blocked the door. She had no way out.

Light slowly trickled in through the windows, illuminating the tacky looking whore house. Fake Sam whimpered in pain, then cried out as she doubled over.

Jack looked from her towards the real Sam, who was also sinking to her knees. He rushed over to her and held her close. He looked towards J'koran and silently thanked him for letting her go.

Jack held Sam throughout her whole seizure and pain filled cries. He knew Daniel and Teal'c were only a step behind him. He knew that as soon as she was Sam again, she would be taken from his arms and wrapped in their with apologies falling from their mouths quicker than they could breathe.

Jack watched in fascination as the woman he held in his arms became longer and thinner. Gone were the short legs as they were replaced by long ones. Her body lost most of the fat and was replaced by smooth and toned muscles. Her watched as the matted black hair transformed into long messy blonde hair. His heart swelled when she opened her eyes through the pain and he saw the colour change from dark brown to brilliant blue.

He couldn't help but smile at her. She was who she was meant to be again, where she was meant to be; in his arms.

Slowly she smiled at him, knowing that he would never leave her again.

Instead of pulling Sam out of Jack's arms, the other two men sat down beside them and enveloped Sam in their arms. They could tell she was in a lot of pain, and the less she moved the better.

"Samantha," J'koran said softly, making her turn to look at him. "I am truly sorry for what Mislan has put you through. No mother should be taken away from her child," regret laced his voice.

"Thank you for letting me go home," she replied, just as softly.

"I only wish that you would stay."

"I can't," she said as she shook her head as best she could, still wrapped in an SG-1 sandwich.

"I know," he sighed. "Your son needs his mother."

Jack managed to tear his eyes away from Sam to look at Mislan, cowering in the corner of the room as J'koran made his way over to her. He winced as he watched the other man pick the small woman off the floor by her hair.

"Did he treat you like that?" he heard Daniel ask as he turned to face his team again.

"For the first few weeks until he realised that what I was telling him was the truth and tonight. He never touched me," she added for Jack's benefit.

"Tough four years?" Jack asked as he helped her stand.

"No where near as bad as you might think," she shrugged, her eyes never leaving his. "Although, I thought I would never see any of you again," she finished in a whisper.

"We don't leave people behind… intentionally. And when we realise we have, we go back for them," he said as he lifted her chin with his fingers. "Now, you, have a son at home, who is probably awake asking where his mother is." He dropped her chin and looked at his friends standing behind Sam, before turning away and heading for the door.

"Jack?" Sam asked, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder.

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned to face her again.

Reaching out with both hands she took his face between them and pulled him towards her. Softly she kissed him. Jack raised his eyebrows as his eyes closed and his hands found her hair.

"Ugh, get a room," Daniel muttered as he walked passed them towards the door.

"Indeed," Teal'c added as he joined Daniel out in the early morning sun.

"Thank you," Sam whispered as she slowly pulled away, her fingers lodged in his hair.

"With a thank you like that… Anytime," he grinned. "So… are you scared of the joys of forced motherhood awaiting you at home?" he asked as he removed her hands from his hair and held on tightly to one of them and walked to join Daniel and Teal'c outside.

"Terrified," she admitted.

"You'll be a great mother," he assured her.

As the walked away from the tacky house in which she had lived for the past four years Sam turned around for one last look. She smiled kindly and waved to the man standing in the door way. In a strange way, she would miss him. The first few weeks aside, he had taken care of her. She had been strictly off limits to the men who used the whore house. And although she was more than capable of looking after herself, it was nice having someone to look out for her again.

"Goodbye Samantha, I will always love you," he whispered as he raised his hand in goodbye. He knew he would never see her again. He knew that she had made him a better man. And for that he would be eternally grateful.

SJSJSJSJ

Jake impatiently bounced around the infirmary waiting for his mother to appear. He had woken up hours ago in a different one than he had fallen asleep in. He had woken up confused. But Grandpa was at his side.

"Mommy will be here soon," Jacob had promised him. Once Jack, Daniel and Teal'c had left with his daughters impostor he had called George. The man had to be told what was going on.

A half hour after receiving the call he had been on the base and at Jacob's side, anxiously awaiting SG-1's return, with hopefully the right Sam.

The klaxon's howled and Jake had covered his ears with his hands in an attempt to block out the sound.

Minutes later, SG-1 and a rather dishevelled looking Sam dressed in a pair of Jack's spare field uniform t-shirts and pants and a jacket draped over her shoulders, walked into the room.

Neither Jacob or George would stop the smile that almost broke their faces from appearing. They had saved her. She was home.

"MOMMY!" the little boy shouted as he ran towards her.

Tears filled her eyes as she knelt down to encase the boy in her arms. Never in her life had she felt so much love for someone she didn't know, but wanted with everything she had.

After a long hug she pulled back to look at him properly for the first time. Tears clouded her vision when he smiled brightly at her.

"You are so perfect," she whispered as she stood up and set him on her hip.

"You're beautiful Mommy," he said as his brown eyes glistened with happiness. "Love you."

"I love you too."

Jacob ran to his daughters side and took her into his arms. Tears fell freely from his eyes when he saw how happy and safe his daughter now was. He looked to Jack and nodded his thanks.

Once Jacob had finally let go of Sam, Jack walked over to her, his eyes full of questions. Sam held out a hand, which he readily took, and dragged him towards her.

"I've waited three years to do this," she whispered to him, before pulling him right up against her and kissing him.

"Mommy?" Jake asked, his voice hopeful, as Sam released Jack's mouth.

"Yeah baby?" she said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Can I have a sister now?" he asked innocently, while looking at her with pleading brown eyes.

Sam looked between her son, and the man who she still held in her arm. She smiled at him before looking back at her son. "Soon. I promise."

She watched with a heart swelling with happiness as her son's face lit up and he squealed with joy. Confidently she looked to the man standing so close he may have well been a part of her, to see that he also had a mile wide grin on his face.

She knew that she would cherish every moment of being home with her family. Even if she did have to start from scratch in the learning department, she knew that her son was worth it.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: BONUS CHAPTER! Cause I love you all so much!**

**Hope you all enjoy! (Check out the length of this one!)**

**Please review *grin***

14 - epilogue/first chapter of a third Sam's Return? Who knows!

"Jack?" Sam asked as she gripped the hem of Jacks t-shirt and looked at him with happy tear filled eyes.

"Yeah?" he asked while gazing at her.

"Can you take us home?"

"As soon as I discharge you," came Janet's reply as she walked over to her friend and hugged her tightly.

SJ

"You're good to go. A little anaemic but you're fine. Go home and rest. I'll visit tomorrow after you've had a good nights sleep," Janet said a couple of hours later.

Once Jack, Sam, Jake and Jacob were at Jack's truck, Jake encased in Sam's arms, Sam looked around and smiled while taking a deep breath.

"It's good to be home," she said before opening the door and put Jake in his car seat. "Um baby? You'll need to show Mommy how to strap you in."

Jake giggled and laced his arms through his straps. Once he was settled Sam fastened the clasps and pulled his straps tighter so he was secure.

"You know we're going to a different house, right?" Jack asked, a little worried about all the changes she was coming home to.

"Yeah," she nodded as she got in the passengers seat. She would never admit how strange it was getting into a motor vehicle again.

Jack soon pulled up in front of Sam's new house and looked over at her.

"Mommy?" Jake's voice floated from the back seat of the truck. Sam turned to face him. "Can we watch Thomas?"

"I would love to watch Thomas with you," she replied sincerely.

SJ

Once she had finally put a sleeping Jake to bed, after holding him in her arms for over an hour after he had fallen asleep, she sat back down next to Jack and her dad.

Jacob stood up and reached for his shoes.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, surprised that he was leaving so soon.

"George invited me to play poker. And it'll be good for you kids to talk without me being here," he explained, then hugged his daughter before walking out of the house smiling at them.

"You don't have to stay," Sam said looking at her hands.

"I'd like to stay, if that's ok with you," Jack said as he took hold of one of her hands.

"Of course," she smiled, as she laced her fingers through his.

"I'm sorry," he said after a few minutes of silence.

"For what?" she asked while raising her eyebrows.

"Leaving you behind. For not realising I left you behind. For not being able to tell the difference between you and Mislan. That you've had to come home to a different house. That you've come home to a _kid_. And that it would've been you that I…"

"I would've beaten the crap out of you if you'd tried," she tried to laugh, but fell short.

"I know," he whispered as he squeezed her hand gently.

"Jack?" she said after staying silent for a few more minutes.

"Yeah?"

"I can't do this," she motioned around the room.

"Sure you can. You'll be a great Mom," he assured her.

"Not in this house. I need out of this house. It reminds me of _her_," she sighed, feeling defeated.

"Wanna go to my house?" he asked as he sat up straighter.

"Can we?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure, go grab some stuff and I'll get Jake," he said as he stood up and pulled her to her feet.

"Won't he wake up?"

"He didn't last night when we all ended up at the base. He'll be fine. Besides he loves sleepovers at Daddy's house," he grinned childishly.

They walked up the stairs together and Sam walked into the room she had only a little while before discovered was hers. Jack quietly walked into Jake's room and picked up the little boy. He already had spare clothes and some toys at his house so he didn't need to worry about packing a bag in the dark.

He walked back down the hall and stood in the doorway of Sam's room to see her sitting on the floor with clothes and underwear scattered around her, head in hands.

"Sam?" he asked, adjusting Jake.

"None of this is mine," she whispered to the floor.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow," he promised. "Just grab something and we'll destroy it later."

Sam nodded as she sighed. Reaching out she grabbed the first underwear she could find then started to hunt for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

Once she was satisfied she had everything she needed she walked out of the room and down the stairs. As she slid her feet in to a pair of shoes, Jack pulled out his cell phone and dialled.

"Sir! Is Dad there?" he asked as he slid his own shoes on. "Dad!… nothing's wrong… everyone's fine… yes I'm sure… we're heading over to my house… yeah… ok, we'll see you tomorrow… bye."

SJ

Jack settled Jake into his spare room that had recently been designated 'Jake's other room' and pulled the covers over him. The little boy moaned softly in his sleep as he pulled the covers tighter around himself and turned over. Jack smiled at his son before placing a kiss on his head.

He walked back in to the living room to see that Sam was standing at the fireplace looking lost.

"You can sit down, y'know," he said light heartedly as he sat on the couch.

"Even though I've known most of this for four years, it's still a lot to take in," she said, not moving from her place by the non-burning fire.

"C'mere," he said as he held out his hand to her. He watched as she shifted her weight from foot to foot before taking a few steps towards him, but still out of reach of his hand. "Sam, c'mere," he pleaded as he looked into her scarred eyes.

Nodding, she took another step forwards and took his hand as she sat down. He wrapped his arms around her as she sat by his side. Deciding he wanted more contact, he swept her legs up and over his, making her curl in to his side.

"This is better," he said at her questioning glance.

"I can't do this," she repeated, looking at her hands. "I don't know what he likes, what he doesn't. I don't know what size of clothes or shoes he wears. I don't know what time he goes to bed or what time he gets up. I don't know any of his routine."

"I thought you knew about him from the beginning?" Jack asked gently.

"Yeah. We were always linked in some way. I just got little details. Sometimes just single words at a time. I knew about him as soon as she did. But that's all. I knew he was here and that if I finally got home I would be a mother, but I know nothing about him. Just his name," she ended quietly. "Are you ok with his name?" she asked, worried.

"Yeah. Besides, he knows his name, it wouldn't be right to change it," he shrugged. "Are you alright with his name?"

"I've known for a long time that if I had a son I would like to name him after Dad," she answered.

"What about his first name?"

"I thought Jacob was his first name?"

Jack shook his head. "Jacob's his middle name. Charlie's his first. He get's Jacob because Mark found out about me… and what Charlie meant… so to stop the poor kid getting confused he's always been Jake."

"We should probably change his surname to O'Neill, y'know, since you're so involved…"

"According to his birth certificate, it's been O'Neill since he was born."

"Really?" Sam asked, shocked. "Ok, that works too," she paused. "So, how long has he been asking for a sister?"

"Months," he replied, laughing lightly. "And he doesn't seem to be letting up on that one."

"I promised him one, soon," she said as she looked him directly in the eyes.

"I know, I was there," he smiled.

"I shouldn't have promised him that," she whispered.

"Why?"

"What if it's a promise I can't keep?"

"You mean, what if he gets a brother instead?" he asked, trying to catch her eye.

"I can't get pregnant on my own. And I can't ask you to do something like this if don't want to."

"What if I do?" he asked as he tilted her chin so she was facing him. "What if I want everything with you?"

"Everything?"

"Sam, I love you. We're talking about having a baby. And we already have a kid together," he said as Sam scoffed. "Biologically he is ours. Her DNA changed to match yours. He is _our_ son Sam, even if you didn't carry or give birth to him."

"I feel cheated," she whispered.

"I know you do. So do I. But you're here now. That's what's important."

"We're here now," she corrected him. He smiled at her as she moved in closer, her lips just above his. "I love you too," she whispered before gently pressing her lips against his.

SJ

Sam woke the next morning to being encased in strong arms and a small warm hand tugging at one of her own. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw brown ones looking back at her.

"Hey baby," she whispered after yawning.

"Cuddles Mommy," he told her as he tugged on her hand again.

"Daddy's cuddling Mommy," Jack said, his voice thick with sleep, as he pulled her in tighter.

"It's Jake's turn Daddy," Jake said as he put on curled fist on his hip while tugging his mothers hand with the other.

"It's still Daddy's turn," came Jack's sleepy reply as he smiled against her shoulder. They had only crawled into bed a few hours earlier after talking well into the night.

Sam laughed and awkwardly pulled their son onto the bed with them.

Jack looked at his son from behind Sam's shoulder and mock scowled at him. Jake stuck out his tongue. Sam couldn't help but laugh at their antics.

She knew she could happily wake up to that every morning. She opened her arms and Jake snuggled in, sighing happily. Jack gently pulled at Sam's shoulder and moved her so she was on her back, then pulled her other shoulder so she was facing him, Jake now in the middle as he giggled.

"Hey, no giggling," Jack jokingly scolded his son, causing him to laugh more.

SJ

Jack lifted his exhausted son into his arms and carried him from the couch to his bed that night. He lay the little boy in his spare bed and began to undress him as gently as he could. He didn't want to wake him up. He was pulling on his pj pants when he heard his sons voice.

"Daddy?" he asked barely above a whisper.

"Yeah buddy?" Jack asked as he put him under the duvet.

"I like this Mommy better," he said before drifting off to sleep.

Jack sat on the edge of the bed and frowned. _This Mommy_? He shook his head before kissing his son goodnight and walked from the room.

He walked into the living room, still frowning, and saw Sam curled up on the couch, looking as exhausted as their son.

"What?" she asked when she saw the expression on his face.

"Jake just said… he _knows_."

"Knows what?" she held out a hand for him to take, then pulled him down beside her.

"He just said, 'I like this Mommy better'. He obviously knows the difference between you and _her_."

A scared look appeared on Sam's face. How had a three year old boy known that?

Jack interrupted her musings. "You look exhausted."

"I am. Who knew clothes and shoe shopping with Janet could be so exhausting."

"You had a hyper three year old with you. What did you expect?" he laughed at her. Why she had insisted on taking him along was beyond him. But at the same time, he understood.

"Do you mind if I go to bed?" she asked as she yawned.

"Not at all, get some sleep," he smiled and helped her to her feet.

She kissed him goodnight before walking towards his bedroom. She closed the door behind her and dropped the tired façade. Quickly she made her way to the small mountain of bags at the side of his bed. Finding the bag she was looking for she carefully pulled the garment out and admired it.

Quickly she stripped herself of her clothes and pulled on the babydoll.

As well as shopping for clothes and shoes, she and Janet had went to the hair salon and got Sam's hair tidied up. It had ended up a lot shorter than she had wanted but it was still past her shoulders and healthy.

Janet had even bribed Jake away from his mother with the promise of ice cream so Sam could pick out new lingerie. She had ended up spending a small fortune, but most of what she had bought had been essential. Other pieces, like the one she was now wearing, was for seducing Jack.

Checking her appearance in the mirror and sorting her hair she smiled to herself. It had been a long time since she had worn something special for anyone. She opened the door and walked down the hall. She stood at the entrance of the living room and saw him, lying on the couch watching The Simpsons, facing away from her.

"I thought you were going to bed," he said, never looking away from the TV.

"I was, but I thought, maybe… you'd like to join me?" she asked nervously.

She watched as he turned his head to look at her, then watched as his jaw fell slack. Without looking away from her he fumbled for the remote control and switched the TV off. He fell off of the couch in his haste to stand up, making her laugh.

He was in front of her seconds later, with his finger over her mouth. "You are so beautiful," he told her while running his hands through her soft hair.

Sam smiled seductively and led him towards his bedroom then pushed him down on to the bed before straddling his hips.

Jack grinned wickedly before grabbing hold of her hips and flipping them over so he was above her.

"Jack? I was thinking," she softly moaned as he caressed her flat stomach.

"There's a shocker," he joked as he kissed her neck. "What about?"

"I'm the only Carter," she said, making him stop abruptly and pulling back to look at her, her hair spread around her in a blonde halo.

Jack kissed her softly on the lips before climbing off of her. Sadness welled in her chest as she watched him move to the other side of the room. She closed her eyes in fear at the thought of him leaving her. She ignored the sounds around her and only opened her eyes when she felt him take his previous position above her.

Her eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her passionately and he hooked one of her legs around his waist while the other hand grabbed her left hand. Slowly he pulled back and smiled at her, and pulled her hand up so she could see her fingers.

"That's easily changed," he grinned at her shocked expression. "Sam, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" she laced her hands in his hair and pulled him down to her.

SJ

Sam walked into the kitchen the next morning to see her dad, Jake and Jack already there with pancakes in front of them. While her dad and Jack smiled at her, Jake looked at her with a confused expression on his face.

Carefully he slid off his seat and walked over to his mother, looking at her quizzically. She could help but notice the two other men in the room stare at the little boy with confused looks, the same look that was on her own face.

He stopped in front of her and placed a hand on her stomach.

"There's a baby in there," he announced to the three adults with clarity, his face losing the confused look.

"Not yet honey," Sam told him, wondering how he knew that's where she would show.

"Just wait Mommy," he told her while smiling.

SJ

6 weeks later.

"Congratulations Sam, you're going to be a Mommy again!" Janet told her, her voice full of excitement.

"How far?" Sam asked, shocked to the core.

"Six weeks, by the looks of things," she replied while looking at her results.

"Jake was right," Jack said from Sam's side, shocked.

"Wow," Sam replied.

SJ

"Hey buddy guess what?" Jack asked his son, who was sitting on Uncle Daniel's knee watching Thomas when they got home.

"What?" he asked, tearing his eyes away from the TV.

"You're going to be a big brother!"

"I know," he said before looking back to the TV, then he said as he jumped off Daniel's knee and ran to his mother. "It's a girl," he told her, as he wrapped his arms around her legs.

"We don't know that yet baby," she said as she bent down to pick him up.

"It's a girl," he told her again smiling. Sam couldn't help but smile back. In the background she could see Daniel stand up and give Jack a congratulations hug, which Jack eagerly accepted.

She knew she had a lot to look forward to.


End file.
